Actual topic: insensitive youtubers (Logan Paul)

I have never supported the Paul brothers
they live half way across the globe doing things that dont seem real because who could be that much of an idiot and do those kinds of things out side of a stupid reality show or dumb teem drama?
the Paul brothers apparently
as a teenage female (sure in my late teens im on the edge of their demographic i think) im part of their target audience but knowing that there are kids who watch them and witness the stupid things that they do is appaling
these are sentiments from even before the latest drama when Jake wielded a sledgehammer and destroyed his rented house (the disrespect) and he and his brother had a prank war that felt close to Donald and Kim calling each other names on twitter
but now after the video in Japan and the disgusting behaviour Logan acted with I dont see how they could still have support
i never really watched Logan as to me he seemed like he acted dumbed down for his following but I did for a short time watch Jake and the other people in his household because i was into the drama and the intricacies of their relationships.. to me it was just like another version of geordie shore i stopped watching around the time all the rest of his gang brought out songs because it was just immature and talentless
sure both the brothers have a talent for business for branding and for making mistakes that get them views but there is no tact no respect and seemingly no conscience with those boys
so the Japan video
Logan not showing the common decency to put down his camera
what bought on my response to this
Logan Paul Exploits Dead Body – True Geordie
I watch his podcasts i know him to be a strong and opinionated guy who speaks his mind is a bit of a hardass but genuinely cares about people and this video really shows that
I cried along with him as i havent cried about anything in a very long time and was honestly touched by his statements
some of the simplest phrases choked me up ‘That’s why I made [a podcast] on christmas’
you’d be hard pressed to find a more heartfelt and genuine message on youtube
I hate that it has taken such a terrible mistake for people to start to talk about influential creators like Logan and Jake Paul making such horrible decisions with their content
this was not the way to open a conversation on suicide and bringing awareness to the issue that affects so many people if not personally but through friends or family there is only so many degrees of separation with something so unfortunately prevalent these days
i despise the fact he’s getting publicity from it and that other channels who are being just as insensitive as to react to the video are gaining a following for commenting on it in such a way (i mean this in the reaction channel sense and not to the people responding to it with no intent to gain from it)
as viewers and subscribers and maybe content creators ourselves its out responsibility to hold the youtube platform to a higher standard and to not support people who handle such a sensitive and heart wrenching topic in such a callous and disrespectful way
its the audience that controls what is popular and what is acceptable and im my opinion the Paul brothers should not be it

(not enough else happened today to eclipse this post)


snap gang snap gang

rebeccas birthday
she is the taylor swift song
i used to say i love you so much as a child
she found a card the other day that said i loved her so much that if she died tomorrow i would burst
family came over
it also turns out that things are currently too shit between brodie and the commanding highness that we cant hang out tomorrow
and of course im pissed
watched the first lord of the rings and rebecca got snapchat on grandma’s old phone
ive realised i have more that a hundred videos on my watch later list

rant about your unhealthy(?) relationship

not necessarily unhealthy but im commenting on what little i know and i dont like it
you may have a shit track record with being in stable relationships
you may also be shit at being emotionally stable
you may also have a hard time with keeping your emotions to one person
that doesnt mean she should dictate who you can and cant spend time with
do you say she cant hang out with guys or tell her that you dont trust her with friends that are boys?
i cant imagine that you would
so when she isnt ok with you hanging out with your best friend who is a chick i dont see how thats fair
sure i dont know if i would trust you or not but i have never tried to attack your friendships
and yeah when it got to a point where i might not have been ok with some people you hung out with we werent in an actual relationship but i never knew your friends anyway
i never knew what you did when we werent talking and i hated it but i never thought i had the right to criticise or make you feel restricted in your friendships
you even lost your v card and i didn’t stick my nose in your business
yeah i can say shit now that i wouldnt have been able to then and its different because at that point we werent anything solid but i still dont think its right
you dont trust by shutting someone in a box and deciding that if they dont do anything you can trust them
trust is earned is proven by allowing someone in a situation when trust could be compromised to not do so and maybe from then more and more ‘risky’ situations to show that they are trustworthy
and its not like thats the only way of it
trust until they cant be trusted
and im not saying run a gauntlet of temptation with your girlfriend at the other end
but i shouldnt feel guilty for wanting to spend time with one of my oldest friends whi ive been through shit with just because his girlfriend is insecure about her relationship
(again cos this happened with bree too and i was scared to even talk to you sometimes and i still am now cos of emily and it was ok to hang out at school when bree was a thing but then when you were always off with emily i felt like i could never talk to you and then i stopped talking to you because i didnt think you cared if we were still friends or not and then you didnt try and then i didnt want to because i wanted to not care and then we’re here again wanting to catch up but we cant without a fucking chaperone and i feel bad for kinda going we wouldnt have hung out with you if we didnt have to be supervised and shit but now youre here and yes i realise it would be inapropriate to get you to come to my next piercing but theres no one else id rather be there and i dont want to do it alone)

im really enjoying this shitty weather

it is dads birthday though so maybe not so great for him but hey mine is in the middle of winter so whatever
havent heard back from brodie about the 8th but im assuming the piercing is off the cards because that would be deemed inappropriate by his girlfriend as somethign for him to be witness to
do we need a chaperone? noah? i dont wanna ask
also getting it done the day before going away with rebecca and dad probably isnt the best idea but we could go to the greatest showman
though a movie might not be ok with her either
read a good fey book ‘the darkest part of the forest’ and then put random braids in my hair and want to wear flappy black things because mystical and creepy things make me happy
my back hurts and honestly i might have all the beginnings of period pain without the actual star of the show who like justin bieber to that one concert is no longer fashionably late but just plain rude and we have no idea when the performance will start
fly in as an angel why dont you


i just liked charles’ photo less than thirty seconds after he posted it
sometimes i want to die
i thought it was just a notification from when my wifi hadnt been turned on but it turns out that it was a coincidence he posted at the same time i turned my wifi back on
went out today
bouthg a really expensive shirt and a really expensive silver ring
both i probably shouldnt have bought but i was at the tannery and i had money burning a hole in my pocket
becca’s instagram vote of if people wanted to see her do a live stream of her and her friend singing has really pissed me off
i viewed it on the ink account and she straight away messaged me asking if she knew me
i relied with i dw i thought you were someone else babes
and it was fucking terrible
i want to die and i shouldnt have done it and oh shit she replied
and she replied to that as well and i want to die still and i an hurting inside and i feel cold and sick and i dont want her to reply and i hate everything and fuck
im starting to be a dick
like im changing my profile photo every time i message her
im sweating
this is not ok
i feel sick
lily is helping me though just by talking
i talked to jarrod did i not reply to him? yes i replied to him and i also went onto serious dick level with becca i wish i had wifi so i could block this all out
watch youtube and forget about it all
i cant though
lilys brother is dying terminal cancer
and i just said i was sick of being around my family all the time
i feel pretty terrible
i have nothing left to say to becca any exceuse she could come up with i wont believe and she’ll try sell it to me and act the victim and i just cant go through that again and again and theres no point and i cant keep being a dick its not in my true nature i guess
i just want to heave the voices of youtube people and sleep soundly


i dunno i went driving
went to opshops
i dunno
i feel pretty shit actually
went to the library
got books
found the third throne of glass one
loghann doesnt get how i could read so fast
im quite tired
going to see amber tomorrow


as in doing them
as in im going to try and do something on for the board game every day which ive managed to do for two days and if i get enough into it it should become a habit
especially since i dont have the wifi to youtube properly at the moment
the plan is to go to the beach with lily and jess next week
i kinda dont want to because i kinda feel like ive a little grown out of them but mostly jess
finished the first two throne of glass books and im pretty sure it was where i got up to last time but not totally sure
and of course i prefer the emo kid to the prince
but everyone was being stupid so whatever
kinda had a chat with brodie last night
(i need to forget about charles)
we said we need to do something but it probably wont happen
jarrod messaged me first for the first time in ages
i dont really want to talk to him specifically but i need something to pass the time because i wonr be able to sleep till late

i kinda feel like dying

it turns out that the feeling id had about not writing in the monthly thing for november was actually real and i hadnt done it instead of just imagining i had
i dont know why i hadnt checked earlier
i dont want to know what was happening at four this morning
i didnt eat from basically 10 till 1 which is a lot of time considering that i usually eat as soon as i get up
we played sweet valley high with hamish this morning which was strange because of the whole real boyfriend thing and whatever
hes cool
and he knows mikaire and ryan as in he was with them last night before he came back to Alena’s and said he could set me up with connor who ive heard about but itsnt as anything as ryan
i asked mum to pick me up which she wasnt happy about
drew up the board for sweet valley high the 2017 unlimited edition
at least ive kinda properly started
wrote down a few goals/resolutions/maybes in a notebook
i cried many many times while watching pacific rim today

End of year

Saw Calvin at bunnings and eleven year old me had some feelings about that
Meeting up with Loghann at the exchange was great and her boy was there
Alena’s boy arrived later after everyone had been drinking except me sweet valley high and cards against humanity
It was pretty good I guess
I feel kinda shit now because they’re paired off but married Loghann and Alena with glowstick rings and got a new years kiss on the cheek from Loghann
It’s two in the morning and were going to bed but I kinda don’t want to sleep
Also cat allergies suck I fucking can’t
I think I won cards and also won sweet valley high
I feel pretty sick
We put glowsticks in the pool but not us
My nose is running
Hamish is actually pretty cool
They’re all making me miss being in a relationship
We might go to the beach tomorrow if we have time
I drank three small lifts
The jelly beans weren’t as bad as I had expected but some of them were pretty shit
when i was on the bus there was a guy who got on but then had to get off because he didnt have enough money but then a dude from the back of the bus runs down and pays for him and the other guy gives him a couple beers and it was very sweet
the only tweets i have that get likes are the ones about steve irwin