out of everything ive lost i miss my mind the most

a quote from ozzy osborne
pretty relatable honestly
although minus whatever he did to fuck himself up to all hell
we had pizza today and i kinda interacted with the men
finished watching peaky blinders and discovered there was a second season that i can watch and its gonna be great cos i certainly cant let go of the characters just yet
i dont know if im going to wear my docs tomorrow but then again i might channel the shelby boys as much as i can which honestly isnt much but its what i do ok
really nothing else to say
rebecca was home for five minutes


wew it a house

we accidentally on purpose went to an open home and it turns out i actually like the place it has a awesome garden and the house is alright and theres space for the tiny houses and its off the main road between the dairy and the bus stop by the halswell community hall and its three times the size of our current section
we might even be considering it
ive started watching peaky blinders and its pretty alright
J is gonna be here with Hamish tomorrow so i dont know if im going to avoid being out of my room or not

long weekend begins

i washed my hair from the dreads and got rid of the terrible 80s afro/perm/deadtree
also watched the second episode of riverdale season two which honestly i didnt enjoy as much
not really sure why
might have been the quality of the video wasnt as good as usual or i had to keep pausing for it to load or just the episode in general didnt have all the things that for me would make it a good episode
also watched more of the flash
put together three more kitchen cabinets out of the six in total
i did the first yesterday and ill have the one with drawers to do tomorrow
im tired and i havent really done much but im going to work tomorrow and yeah i dunno
not having plans of course because i dont talk to charles anymore
and so im going to send him a random gif now because i hate myself

no purpose

like literally i havent got anything to do at school now that ive done my folio
talked to kirsty in the morning
Theo was distracting we had a talk about where we think we’re going to be headed next year with art
and i mean we as a class not him and i
next art class drew a weird duck dragon
throwback to arthur duck dragon that i drew in year nine or ten with lia
i think its going to be my next gargoyle thing
went to the doctor and i dont really like him anymore i dont feel like he actually does it right whatever right means
apparently my ears are actually because of my nose and hay fever and not actually anything to do with my ears at all
my skin on my hands and feet are also because of that
i dont believe it
took my dreads out too biiiiig mess


so Winston Peters has announced tonight he will be joining Labour and in extension but not in his words the Greens
he didnt however make the decision in time for me to put it into my folio
i helped Theo tape one of his panels
hung out with Kitty
nothing else really
so the new docs right
soooo not broken in
fucking blisters ok
i went to Janelle in the office before school even started and got plasters
by the time i was at the bus stop after school i took them off and went home barefoot
maybe not the best idea before i go to the doctor tomorrow afternoon to look at my fucked up toe and hand skin and also my ears which are still blocked
my back is also very sore at the moment but its probably just that i have shit posture
also double french braided my dreads which is interesting going to have to wash them (take them out wash my hair put them back in) over the weekend

Im legit now

got docs this afternoon
like real ones
like i spent way too much money
like i need to celebrate the fact that ive done something that i really wasnt sure if i would manage
Holly really wants me to put glitter or sequins on my folio but i keep saying no
maybe at the beginning of next year when it comes back I’ll spray adhesive on it or draw in glue something i dunno what but then pour glitter all over it
who knows
its almost finished
had an almost final follow up conversation with (CHARLES MESSAGED ME HOLY SHIT OH MY HOLY GOD I FEEL SO LOVED IM SHOOK (and i fucking hate the word shook) IM BLESSED IM LIVING (im also waiting for loghann to check the snapchat i sent her about it)
(we had a tiny conversation and i tagged him in a random dancing bird video)(shot down)
so im doing good with my art like better than id hoped for earlier this year when i was almost convinced i wouldnt even complete it
so went and got the new piercing jewelry and got the helix fitted and the ones i put in my seconds at home were fucking hard to do but at least i know i can do them myself and now all of my ears are silver
i feel a bit sick
i have real docs now and it was easier than i thought to get them
met up with miriam in the morning and saw becca through a window
i dont know what else
played sweet valley high again and i actually won the second game after miserably losing the first one
I joked about inviting Steven to play because he was looking though the window at us playing and said something that i think i understood and said yes to but im not entirely sure what he said but anyway it would probably not end well because Loghann and I are broken and i swear too much and we have too many in jokes with the game
watching jack whitehall now
that it really

doing better (+ victory boots)

im almost done with my folio and im not really panicing right now
as a holy fuck ive done it thing im going to buy a pair of real docs tomorrow and if i dont forget ill get the helix piercing changed too if i also remember to get the new hoops for my seconds
i kinda fucked my shoulder at work i dont know what i did to it but yeah it fucking hurt from my shoulder to my wrist maybe a twinged nerve or something but its mostly better now
i have a doctors appointment for friday afternoon
going to talk to miriam tomorrow and hopefully follow up on everything and ask her to contact beccas mum
i kinda want to skype jarrod and i dont know why
i might be missing attantion
Loghann and i were especially dysfunctional today
her alena and i completed the ice temple fireboy and watergirl game entirely
i dont really know what else to say
need to try and see brodie tomorrow
i do actually miss him


so mum dropped me at school first day back for the term and had to take my folio back in
turns out after talking to holly again im doing better than i thought i was
when loghann got to school we played fireboy and watergirl and we kept getting Bs on the levels at one point we got an A and a C but those were one offs
there was a couple levers we just couldnt manage to pass but playing them at home tonight ive managed to do the one we struggled on
i somehow ended up singing the alphabet while playing??? i thing i went ‘ayyyy’ about something and then just kept going
i got to like j or somethign before i realised what i was doing
kept laughing through the first class about it
then lunch played it too and i ended up with the hiccups and it just was so fucked and actually really awesome
i dont mind having dreads again
i mentioned kinda to holly about what had happend with becca and im going to try and talk to miriam tomorrow about asking her to contact Linda because after everything its like i dunno i was going to leave it but now that holly says i should talk to her mum then its probably a good suggestion
not really much else to say
work is shit as usual

apologies in advance for any dreadful puns

and i only mean that in the sense that i have dreads again and i dont know how to feel about it
like really i dont know if this was a good idea or not like maybe i shouldnt have
but tomorrow
is school
is folio
is talk to holly
is try not to cry
went and didnt eat food with dad and rebecca
shes gone for work again
ive watched five episodes of the flash season two
switching back to youtube for the night though
dan and phil played fireboy and watergirl and id forgotten id been playing it with loghann
if alena isnt there tomorrow we gotta
thats is probably


so the memorial where i only recognised a couple of old men because they were old when i first knew them and theyre still old now
it was weird being back there like in the church and the hallways and the kitchen and the hall and the side room cos i remember it but also i dont
no jordan
it was kinda emotional at some points and i got close to crying even though i felt like i had no right to
damn these people who can memorise their poems
i havent written anything in a while
good for him though
so after
went to the body mind spirit festival and i bought a lotus cup as per interest discussed in a particular post and then got a thai massage which was actually really great my back clicked loads and it actually felt really good even though there were some spots that made me flinch a little and some that almost made me laugh
i still smell like menthol
i miss talking to charles and mostly just being around him
cant use becca as a go between now though
watched the first episode of season two… do i keep adding my reactions?
theres literally no context to it and you wouldnt know what i was talking about unless you were watching it along at the same time and even then some of it wouldnt match up in any obvious way because thats just how my brain works
i might keep my reactions to myself