like really and i dont know how i feel about it
it was chill till it was made a Thing
but whatever its not too bad
i talked to brodie last night it was nice
and he even talked to me today unprovoked which is a miracle really
honestly im actually would you believe it
a bit sick of my room smelling like smoke
i think its just this particular scent of incense but i dont like it and need to remember not to use it again
i feel pretty shit
quite tired very tired
her boy was at school
should sleep now
but tylers videos……



too many energy drinks meant i was overtired and jittery and wayyyyyy too manic
ethan is nice
art not so much
i dont know
ana and i spent the majority of english doing the hand over hand over hand thing and i think rob got pretty annoyed at us
theo noticed and thinks we’re weird

Naz 2.0

i dunno its not the cafe and she isnt gemma
its fine though
lots of dishes
made my own hot chocolate and then when i was leaving leaving i made a coffee for an important lady because gemma wasnt there and it was the important lady who was like standing there waiting
and i really like the cafe like i miss it
also i got a fuckload of incense now fucking ficght me and i got a bic cos im a cool kid and its black like my sOuL and i straightened my hair cos im emo af but not really and its shit cos i need to wash my hair again like fuck man i wahsed it this morning
and i also got some bracelets like friendship ones but i aint got no friends so ima wear them both myself ive had too many incense tonight
mum found old cassette tapes and theres ones she put together for her and dad and it makes me sad
so right ok ethan said i cant die just cos i dont want to go to work he say ‘yeah but then i have no one to talk to apart from gamers or stupid people and would be very boring’ and it was sweet and nice
if jarrod had said such a thing i would not have been happy me would have gone like hell fucking no you creep dont say shit like that
so why??
also loghann is fucking adorable and i love her very much
(also newest piercing is having problems)
watching bob ross


it started with becoming aware of nazisploitation films and how it was a justification thing and satyre or whatever and became something more like what is the modern equivalent of these exploitation films and how in a time of PC gone mad do directors and producers still manage to put pornography into mainstream media
its a journey and not one that would make sense to most people as a purely analytically based enquiry and not just watching socially acceptable porn but like its a topic that i find interesting and the whys and wherefores of it
honestly nothing happened today

emo throwbacks

i dont know how but i ended up watching johnnie guilbert again
hes full of shit
but like its reawakened my dreams of being a fully emo piece of shit
i will never be able to achieve my goals
he’s still wholly emo though and so is his whole group like even in 2018 the emo is strong with them ones
i got a too large easter bunny chocolate thing
and sophie and i found the green egg and it was in such a fucking obvious spot that i felt like dying
not really but like we should have spotted it
and it was green
i am shamed
im so tired though
my facebook on chrome had gone mental
we played pictionary and i came up with the things to draw for people and they really enjoyed it especially the one where dean was pushed off a cliff and eaten by a shark
the package from brainbox candy arrived…. again
like the one that i was supposed to get and then it didnt come yeah i dont know if i really got the first or the second one but no i have double ups
also i patted deans face
i had decided to aim for dean but now i do not know
they moved around the whole homebase

then fucking dont

im really not getting along with mum at the moment
its all because i dont do anything to help around the house
went to the bio LA position presentations and the guy it turned out didnt seem as bad as alicia made him out to be
there was a shared lunch for her homebase and then i gave ethan a malteser rabbit and i dont know
im very annoyed
had issues with trying to figure out work stuff this morning and then ive asked dad if he can take me which he is going to but im not looking forward to
im not in a good mood

nice in a not very nice way

so i managed to talk to ethan about the thing last night and i said all i could but it didnt go how i wanted
art was a thing
i think im quite late and might have to do something about it
oh and yeah i skyped jarrod for a little while
ok yeah day 40 im a bit shit
we just were pretty much quiet and looked up from out phones every so often and he thought it was cos i was looking at him i was just bored and waiting for him to say something or make conversation and he just thought it was cute
he cant read signals
his shoulders are quite hairy
its like the bad dream i had about wildcat that he had lots of back hair and that was a dream that really freaked me out
i dont know he called me cute and beautiful and i didnt like it
compliments arent compliments when they come from someone you dont like
i talked to holly about lots of stuff

PANTS (preparation for staging an intervention)

so wore the pants
loghann wore pants
we were snazzy
then alicia sat down the boys to tell them about their eating habits and that they were bad and it was not quite right
like i get that they eat shit and they shouldnt and sophie and i have even talked about it but like i dont know if she went about it the right way
then at lunch there were some things said that were also questionable
so this kid came in and her was nervous and had to be escorted in by his friend and then he tried to have a go at ethan who had been fucking it up with his girl and then it went nowhere and the kid was annoying me cos he was having an argument he woudlnt win then i ended up overthinking it all at work and not being able to get it out of my head and now i know why it bugged me so much is cos its so like shit that went on with me and jarrod and brodie
im so not looking forward to it though
hey so i was thinking and its probably none of my business but that situation that i overheard yesterday with that kid….
it was like hearing your brother talk about his sexual exploits
though if anything its cemented the ‘friend’ part of my friend crush
mum and i are not getting along

Naz cafe finale

i did most of the drinks today and a lot of the food
had a conversation with chris about next week and going through the elevators to get to the behind part without scanning through which scares me
im gonna miss working with gemma
had a kinda awkward conversation with ethan on messenger and i was scared
he isnt very good with words
but it seems like none of them are except brodie
i dont know
my knee is really bad
im scared of wearing my new pants to school tomorrow