ive already had shit to say about his new girl so here lies the same sentiments
“shit i have to say about your relationship”
and yeah
the rest is just buying three pairs of shoes and eating subway
and moving my room around
which now its moved i hate it because the way i had it arranged was really good and it felt like i had more space even though i still kinda couldnt find my way to my door in the dark but now theres a whole lot less space
i will be able to move it back once the painters are done but it just makes me sad to disturb something that i was happy with
at the moment i just need him to say if he can or cant come because i need to ask other people if he cant


mightve actually failed

so i did buy the jimmy carr tickets yesterday but loghann hadnt thought to ask permission from her parents yet and her dad isnt really ok with it
i did say that it is only rated fifteen and up so it shouldnt be too horrific but also i think it will still be the same kinda content even though im pretty sure she would be fine with it
so it might turn out i need to do a last minute SOS to the boys for it
it was weird having to sleep on my back because i could sleep on my side with just the piercing and it could be either side but no i have the tattoo on my prefered side and still cant sleep on my stomach i was sleeping on my back which was just odd
and now im literally dead

pencil scratch-donating blood-tooth filling (first tattoo)

^^list of things that a tattoo on my ribs felt like^^
turns out yesterday was my new record for likes per day…. i didnt start this for likes or followers and i honestly dont know where all these people are coming from
so again got up too early for the time i actually went to sleep for the third day in a row
whatever it was chill
met up at the exchange i got a lift at fresh choice because im a dick
then chatted outside for a while
caught up on shit and talked shit and then eventually went in to laneways
(as much shit ive said about jess today and the last two days the conversation im having with her now is pretty chill)
we ended up waiting quite a while but it was ok because i had good company and the vibe there was good
it ended up being that Victor was the one who did my tattoo which was cool cos i think he’s great
there were things like i dunno this will probably sound weird and creepy and ill explain it bad but like when he was putting the stencil on and used all of my bones (one side of my ribcage against the other) as leverage and when he leaned on a part of my shoulder and i just kinda folded in or the almost hip hug when he was trying to get the right angle AND IT WASNT WEIRD
like its a huge thing that it wasnt weird
im not used to being that close to people
we talked about veganism food miles chronic fatigue vaccume cleaners school the state of the world and one direction because he was security for them and said how one of them downed six jager bombs and then the uk security made him throw it up so he wouldnt get totally fucked up and how harry had flown to LA just to go on a date
it was hard that loghann was there but i couldnt laugh
then afterwards we kinda failed at deciding where to eat we were gonna go to little high but then i got really overwhelmed there then we went back to the boxed quarter (i keep going to say boxpark like shoreditch) and eventually went to sals for pizza
then home whatever but switching between the orange line and 100 the driver said something like youre lazy arent you how far are you going
which i got scared and offended and said to the last stop which isnt actually far from where i get off usually but its easier to get off at my normal one
but then i ended up staying on the majority of a block past my stop and then walking back the longest fucking way because i was too embarrassed to get off at my one
and thats it
tis all that needed to be said today i think

i think i actually have a bit to say

ended up with lily for six hours today which was pretty awesome and we didnt struggle to come up with shit to talk about the whole time which was great
she’s definitely someone i could live with
and considering i am so set on having my own space and being the head of a household
not for any status reasons or for wanting to lord it over anyone
but to be able to carve my niche in the world and control what goes in it where things are put what happens and why and when
but she understands that
so we wandered about the mall had some drinks and then went upstairs and chatted then we saw people we knew like jack rose sally and oscar from school and finn and molly who are amazingly still together and it kinda looked like his hair was thinning a bit made up for it with a beard though and eventually saw noah and gabe
noah said he hadnt been up to much lately and been doing nothing
excuse you but did you not say we’d hang out a lot more when i was off work? have we done so? no i think not id be down for it though
we went to inspirations where we actually ended up having a discussion about beliefs in spirituality and shit like that
like she had a feeling for a while that she was gonna lose a male member of her family and it turns out that yeah she is going to
and she’s going to come with me to the next body mind spirit festival thing which is in march maybe?
i should probably sort my nintendogs so theyre not dying if loghann comes back with me tomorrow
lily got me two straws from starbucks so when i feel shit i can blow the paper off them because for some reason that makes me ridiculously happy
we might also end up going to the uk together
theres something wrong with my nose its not broken just not functioning quite right and my right hand is kind of crampy
i used chopsticks today properly for the first time in i think ever and im actually pretty proud of that and i used my debit card for the first time in ever and it worked too… well i use it yesterday but ive tap-paid i think twice and it was epic and i felt like a god
the new piercing doesnt even hurt that much anyway
at the end of it we were just observing and commenting on all the guys that walked past us which honestly we were probably doing for more than an hour
when we were at the park after inspirations
even though mum had told me not to go outside
there were some tradie guys who kinda catcalled us as they drove in but really quietly and one of them stayed staring at us when the parked and stayed sitting in their car but then got out walked halfway towards us then went back to the car which we kinda freaked out about like what the fuck??
when i was at jels buying the usual oreo milkshake this old lady with her husband came up to lily and i asking if we wanted to use the last $5.50 that was on the giftcard that she had and she was Scottish and it was beautiful and she was awesome and it was honestly the nicest thing a stranger has done for me and so i had the majority of my milkshake shouted by a lovely Scottish lady and her giftcard which ive kept the empty card for a keepsake to remind me of a strangers kindness

stab wounds

so got up early like way more early than i had wanted to but like i was going to see lily so it was all good
we met up at the exchange and then kinda felt a little bit lost and then managed to find out way there and it cost me a hell of a lot more than i thought it would have
like twice what i had expected to pay
i need to transfer money across for my tattoo
anyway afterwards we went back to fresh choice got some drinks and sat in the gardens for a while just talking about everything
we never really run out of shit to say which is awesome cos i know how tired of being around people both of us could get whereas jess doesnt always get that
its not that we were talking shit about her its just nice to know that im not the only one who feels like she hasnt grown up in the same ways the rest of us have yet
turns out i got sunburnt which i think was more waiting at the bus stop at the library where i went to get a iced chocolate and berry friand before going home and felt very old and also young and awkward doing so
lily even said we can hang out tomorrow too which for her is a pretty big thing and also for me too i guess
and then the day after that loghann who im meeting at the exchange at ten

Working again

Verve shift and I don’t know what’s going on
Maggie is lovely though slams doors like she’s trying to break them though but nice enough and from Australia
Don’t know why but my arm is like ridiculously itchy right now
Oi at northlands and all I can think of is Charles and I hate it and now somehow I wish I’d never met him and this sucks
Again more loitering this is all this job seems to be I have one of the uniform shirts though it’s pretty short and annoying with the sleeves being three quarters or something and the groom looks really young and we have half an hour to wait and these are the times I wish I had data or friends to work with I’ve never seen so much of our part of the country as I have doing this job and going all over for events I was tempted to bring a book and now thinking about it I probably should have done there two other girls both called Georgia who are friends and have social lives and data and are stalking people on the snap map because they have friends and I have no one it was good when I was with rose cos I could kinda talk to her and I had WiFi but now they talk to each other and not to me sometimes I don’t think I’m pretty enough for this job this shirt just doesn’t sit right they’re talking about getting cat called I hate this and now they’re talking about eels I really hate this I don’t want to do this now I think I prefer spitroast shifts to this I don’t like these people I like these people better now that we’ve served and stuff it’s always easier after that and we are good food
the groom literally looked 17 and he was actually 21 which is still young to get married but like he did look a lot younger
plans changed with lily and we were gonna do sunday then monday and now we’ve changed back to tomorrow
but earlier than i thought we were gonna but hey more time together
had some cool chats with Maggie on the way there and back talked about school and guys and piercings and tattoos and yeah cool stuff i like her
came home and ate apple sauce on toast and it was great and i fucking love apple sauce

and this is summer right?

southern hemisphere nearing the middle of january
im sitting on the couch with a blanket and hot water bottle
the fuck is this
i attempted to put a face on today but it failed as soon as i got to liner and setting spray
ended up washing my brushes
snapchatted loghann though and she makes a lot of things better
mostly i just feel shit in general
i dont know what it is im just crashing
also almost threw up while watching the order of the phoenix tonight
i dont know whats wrong with me
someone be nice to me please
had issues with work shit and i dont like it
i dont like having to message or text people i dont know
ill have to be at a place tomorrow while i feel pretty sick still probably where i dont know what im doing
and i dont want to ruin someones wedding
i dont have the right uniform

Day three back home

So heres the dream i had last night which was actually pretty cool
Was a good asshole ish attitude dream
I was at school or somewhere like it at the start and I think Jeremy lidstone was about and everyone was playing a game like fortnight except maybe it was more real life version of it and Ben Bowen was there and they might have been judging me for being a girl and playing it and I think there was also some aspect of pokemon to it
Then I was supposed to be giving Andy biersack a piercing but couldn’t because he didn’t have the anatomy for it and then I think no ended up just sitting on him hike he got his nipple pierced then we were going back into class which was in room fifteen and I think Brent was teaching it and I called Andy a dick a huge thirteen inch dick and I said it to mykie from glam and Gore and it turned out Andy was in my class and he was filled decked out emo and then I said to mykie that if we were comparing dick sizes they were equal which people overheard but didn’t get cos they hadn’t heard the first part and I was actually being an dick cos I had no right to call her one and then in class I ended up being close to token emo and being really bitchy and an asshole to the teacher and we were doing bookwork where I only had blue colouring in pencils to do the work and he compared me to Andy without mentioning him
and then we ate packed up and left before ten
went home and that was pretty much it
i dunno it was strange
checked my emails and there was one from work which was pretty confusing but hopefully it will be sorted out eventually
or at least in enough time for me to manage to get there on saturday
i feel for the people having weddings in this weather i mean its summer right?
mum and uncle glen are looking at this place in tai tapu where they might share it but i dont know how theyre going to get the tiny house in there and i dont want to share a house with rebecca
or a property with my cousins for that matter
its too weird
it might sound strange saying sharing a house with my sister considering i live with her now but its a two bedroom place and mum would be living in the tiny house so it would be me alone most of the time but half the time rebecca would be there doing whatever
and i dont want that
if i have a place that im mostly in charge of i dont want to be having to share it with someone else half the time
thats all really its good to be back home where i can like wifi and whatever

Day two

I think I’ve lost the note that I wrote yesterday about yesterday to make my blog post and I do by know how that happened all I can think is that my phone is having a span because it doesn’t have signal turns out I didn’t lose it it’s just that along with the time that my phone lost when it lost signal it also lost the date so it thought it was in August last year not January this year which was annoying but I found it eventually
So I started writing a story but it might not end up being a story but instead a fairy tale or maybe the beginning parts of chapters in a bigger book I don’t know yet but then part of it which is the origin story for the town became a legend thing which I like writing especially the style of writing
It’s just hit me that dads getting old
Still a few decades but still old
The writing turned into something new and now my mind has some company
Leaving tomorrow morning
No fishing
Waste of that money wasn’t it
Still going through the magnetic words making weird sentences like FYI you’re the Bush which just reminds me of fortnight

First day of shit

I forgot blue tin cream and I’m pissed about it
Rawleighs ointment is one of the greatest things ever invented
Probably not actually but I reckon
I’m not feeling weird about my sleeping bag at the moment which is a good thing so maybe after camp I made peace with the whole Brodie on Yolo camp thing
We ended up going to wool shed creek and doing a bit of a walk which I was so not keen on but got a bit of a majestical photo
Have some other random photos too
I’m sleeping on a double bed and yeah on cos sleeping bags but also it doesn’t feel like a double bed because I can’t fully spread ya know cos of the sleeping bag but I might adjust later anyway well see
Watched finding neverland which wasn’t hugely great but it was something
Not much else worth mentioning really
I don’t like what they’ve done to the old bach