Faultline – Edition 17 (ask me if I’m a fireman)

so the reality of taking my dreads out and washing my hair and putting them back in was staying up till one in the morning
but i talked to jarrod a little but got pissed when he called me beautiful like dude no stop i know youre too attached but think youre an acceptable amount of attached but i don’t like you and haven’t liked you since i broke up with you the first time
and i has done so much art my brain is melting and i don’t want to look at a piece of paper or paint or anything slightly related to politics till ever but i have to on monday because that was part of the agreement with holly that i have set times in mentoring to do art which is monday and friday mornings now because of the half hour slots being stupid for trying to do anything
so i worked through from 9 till a bit after break when i went to louise’s homebase and loghann was there because she was bunking her course which was great for me but not so great for her course
then went back to set for an actual class and didn’t really talk to holly about anything i was doing and just did it
had a break and went to the cafe halfway through class and should not have bought a lift but did anyway but money goes in on wednesday and i shouldn’t be spending anything in the weekend or any other time in the week because I’m going to behave for once
i still feel like I’m wearing my thumb ring which i had to change to a middle finger ring at faultline because when i clapped it fell off
so there was more art after lunch but what really matters is THAT I WON ANOTHER GAME OF SWEET VALLEY HIGH
even though alena was messing with me on the turns that she was doing on loghann’s behalf which se wouldnt have done if she was there taking her own turns but despite that i still managed to win
sophie was playing at the beginning but had to go to a mentoring thing i think
but yeah after playing it so many times i finally managed to win a second game
the bus was whatever except
except except
the boy the boy conor was there again because they had an earlier bus yesterday? so i saw him then and i was on the later one today so i didn’t have to rush our of school for work
and then brooke got on at the next stop and she saw my hair and had kinda the same reaction as kitty had and conor got really confused cos she was looking in his direction because me diagonally behind him
(i am a human focused human allow the excessive recounting of human interactions)
and that was it for the whole thing
then faultline where i talked to gabby outside which she smoked and it was pretty cool really that we could actually talked but by that point i had already started shaking and it wasn’t just the cold
then talked to other humans like?? me social?? ben wasn’t there which was kinda sad haven’t seen him in a couple months but there was another guy but i can’t remember his name and doroteia (she mentioned he may have been trying to impress a girl) and josh
so people
yeah
and we whipped out the “poofy thing” which were really just kinda footrest things but not quite like the quarter circles at school but squares and me and my red fake suedeish one were very happy with ourselves except for being kinda alone
went to hang out at the entrance and then people came and i went to suggest/ambassador about the workshops and we all talked and whatever
i had my square and then josh sat next to me and the square felt comfortably the right size for two people who have never really talked before but are aware of each other because poems have been read and such and it was good
i read second josh seventh? eighth? and teia was very last
alice did ask if i wanted to guest poet but it was a definite no
the candle still makes my room smell like almost ice-cream
i find it interesting what people click at
and when they’re in my peripheral and all the body language and movement at that ya know? its fascinating especially with particularly interesting people just observing
brodie said he was probably going but didn’t
cunt
i talked to the new guy and i feel really bad for not remembering his name
but we had some good pieces of conversations and listening to him and josh was cool too like i didn’t feel weird about not contributing anything because there wasn’t space to and i got everything they were saying and sometimes its just nice to listen to people talk and breathe it all in and not say anything
i was still shaking the whole time except when i was on the stage reading which was weird
but yeah shaking was fun
everyone who read was cool and even the people who didn’t read were cool too
troy read read (didn’t actually read but like yeah) the one that i know all the words to
darling you are intoxicating and I’ve been knocked flat but id give an arm and a leg just to get my heart and head back
that one
that i may have mouthed all the words along with him
and it was good
we loitered inside we loitered outside
i loitered alone
that was it
why am i still awake
stuff is happening tomorrow

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