whatever

not at school again
turns out it was st patricks day today
wonder what holly would’ve said about it
kinda started writing a poem
was listening to the talking book most of the day
fucked with my ear before i had a shower and kinda dismantled(?) the lump above it and now i don’t know what its going to do
washed my hair and then ended up sitting on the garden seat out the sliding door that never used to work to let it dry
not brushing it or anything because i don’t really remember what my natural hair texture is anymore so I’m just gonna let it do its own thing for a while i think
im not really sure just depends really on how it ends up and if I’m ok with it or not
i think i had a dream with brodie in it again
i miss him
i think its because i was writing about him
but i also miss the physical contact with him not necessarily the couples stuff but just being able to hug him or lean against him and not feel weird about it
i think it might have something to do with me having problems with contact with most people that with the people i don’t have problems with i need it to balance it out or something I’m not sure
but its not something I’m going to mention to him
kinda the same thing with yashbir he gave good hugs but now its not the right thing to hug him anymore
my hands don’t feel right

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