and burning
and turning to ashes
and being blown away
and forgotten
and becoming absolutely worthless dirt that no one cares about

cos thats honestly what it feels like right now
so everything sucks
thats obvious right
and i don’t know what to do about it
the thing is i don’t have anyone to talk to about it either
i really didn’t want to message brodie but i needed to talk to him more than my pride wanted me to never speak to him again
and i felt a little better despite everything thats happened he still makes me feel a bit more stable
maybe its to the same degree as it used to be but things are really bad now so its harder to notice I’m not sure
hes ok though
or better than he was
my ears really fucking hurt
i went up to 10mm too fast i should’ve waited till tomorrow but i pushed it to happen sooner and it didn’t make me feel better
nothing is making me significantly happy
nothing interests me
and i have no idea what brought this on
everything is bullshit i don’t like it
my tumblr is a mess of stupid thoughts
i can’t handle this


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