Happy 53rd Dad

went to lunch at denny’s and i almost finished all my chilli fries but not quite
last tim ei was there was my birthday last year
i went though the two crates of mine that were in the garage and i got rid of the polly pocket stuff although i did keep the guys and the little animals
also keeping all of the angilina ballerina and felicity wishes things
still would entertain me for a while even though I’m coming up to being 18
also spent a bit of time just carrying around baby jojo
it felt really weird like the whole attachment i have to her and then not wanting kids
i do have a mothering instinct its just more inclined to inanimate objects and animals than human spawn
so one box is back in the garage but the other one with baby jojo in it is still in the lounge
i haven’t really been online at all today
posted happy birthday to yashbir though and talked to sarah a little bit but thats all
everything i used to do i was always doing while on facebook talking to brodie
reading? also messaging brodie
watching youtube? also messaging brodie
watching a movie with mum? also messaging brodie
playing guitar? surprise surprise also messaging brodie
and now I’m not talking to him at all
i did my nails
badly
like i fucked up one hand but then redid it and it was kinda ok
rebecca and i stopped at the library on the way home from lunch and i got some books
that may kinda be the reason i realised everything i used to do id always be talking to him at the same time and also partly because i haven’t really been online the last couple of days
bree followed me on instagram and yeah i followed he old account and yeah she’s a decent person but I’m not so I’m not following her back
nothing i do would make him care enough to talk to me like he wouldnt notice anything he’s busy with a replacement
and yeah replacement isn’t exactly the best way of putting it because he seems way more happy about anything to do with her than to do with me
we got too used to each other like sure when we actually did stuff it was great and it was a whole new kind of feeling but with everything else it was just old
he got bored
and i don’t like new things
my back hurts
possibly going to see grandma on saturday because its rebeccas birthday and it will be the first time I’ve seen her in ages
will she last till her birthday
grandma lasting to her own birthday not lasting till rebeccas or rebecca lasting two days till her own
I’m getting hungry
time to put the lights on

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