great beginnings to the year i forgot+i was right

i need to write words like a lot of work like i need to have my fingers constantly moving because for some reason thats just what needs to be happening right now
I’m overheating and if I’m typing rather than writing then that means at least i can read it afterwards
i haven’t decided if i like mark or not that name is kinda ruined for me after mark randall he was just suck a lame dude
i see his mother sometimes at work and i hate it but my work will go down an hour at the beginning of the year because of the children who aren’t going to be in that room
i don’t know what rebecca is going to do for her birthday or what is going to happen for dads but i think she won’t want to do a big party and dad will try and do something with us its two days till his and then two more till hers after that
its weird that i haven’t talked to Jarrod again its very weird
theres more random tumblr posts happening
brodie has moved on so yeah i was right
he told me about it too
like dude why do you feel like you need to tell me about the girls you’re getting with i don’t need to know that cos it just makes me feel shit that they make you happy and anything that happened with us just make you feel crap
i need to go and talk to someone about things
its really not going well i don’t feel like I’m attached to the world and i know its all in my head which in a way makes it worse because knowing its wrong doesn’t make it any less invalid
a guy messaged me on tumblr the other night and i don’t know why he’s not following me or anything he liked a couple of my posts and he just asked me if i was ok and when i replied yeah mostly he told me that he would be there for me to talk to if i needed someone i know pretty much nothing about him or what his motivations were to talk to me and i don’t think I’m going to find out but somehow its seems dodgy even though i would like to believe its genuine random concern for a stranger
I’ve been feeling really sick today and i don’t know if its the incoming of the reminder that I’m actually a semi functioning woman or not which is supposed to happen today but if I’m honest I’m not even sure if it will because I’m so fucked up like that and now I’m getting paranoid
i was up till 6am and then i was just going to stay up through the day but i just couldn’t so then i woke up at almost two in the afternoon
been watching lots of weird videos on vice which i don’t really understand but the one on the kingston clan and the unicorns in london will stick with me a little i think


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