rest of day three and four

so what actually happened yesterday
we had to leave earl for the sanctuary and we were late
turn out it didn’t really batter because there weren’t many birds there for the feeding
i haven’t thought about brodie much at all and thats the first time i can say that in a long time
and the last time i was properly happy that didn’t have something to do with him apart from that weird week when everything was ok was with Jarrod
other people make my feelings not i do
that night we went to wednesday night market along the beachfront
i bought a necklace from a monk and its special
not that its one of a kind but its special
it says a thing on it that doesn’t quite make sense but neither do i and i agree with what it says kind of too
it has a cross on it not that that means I’ve had a sudden religious conversion but to me in a way it does represent Christ but more than that to me it means i believe in something and i think that means more
we walked along the whole thing and then went back to the monks because rebecca wanted to have a better look she was looking at the bracelets and the other monk looked at her hands and pulled out a bracelet with specific stone beads on it from behind the table and then showed her the sales of the stones and what they meant
now thats my kind of belief like i trusted the monk that she knew what she was doing
i had the same but she looked at my face and ears too then chose my bracelet and showed me the meanings of the stones
afterwards rebecca had asked if i liked it or not the beads were two different blues purple and pink which would never have been something i would choose it would’ve been green or more likely black and it wasn’t that i didn’t like it its just that it is
day four
we went to another big mall
went into rebeccas sports gear place and were waiting there for ages
dad and i ended up going somewhere else where i got a skirt and then rebecca had ended up picking what she wanted when we got back
went to an outdoor place where rebecca made very time consuming decisions and then finally to a shoe place where i ended up finding the half perfect pair of shoes id been looking for
ate food then left
I’ve almost used up all my money
$10 and some coins left
i got to a thinking point where i was like i really am done here like thees nothing else i can get from being here its finished which is good i guess because all of tomorrow is just travelling
went on the boat tour
it was very boring and i didn’t like it the complimentary food wasn’t great at all and i didn’t end up buying a drink because i didn’t want dad to judge me
i don’t like boats
or at least not boats that I’m on with people i don’t know or don’t like
i think this whole trip would’ve been different if i liked my family more
or if i was somewhere i wanted to be more than just australia
like surfers paradise is fine for people who want to go to the beach all the time and whatever sample the nightlife or whatever but i just want to go somewhere and pretend i live there for a while
sure going to see all the cool touristy things but also just be there for a while
anyway back at the apartment we watched and episode of CSI Miami then one of Hawaii five-0 then went to the beach
day four last day of being in australia the gold fucking coast and at the end of the day we finally make it to the beach
i didn’t really get to have my feeling time in the water and it didn’t really have that beginning feeling anyway because of who i was with but yeah
saw some jellyfish
the water was warm which i didn’t really like it was just weird
then we got back and rebecca and i went to the pool and i just sat on the side with my legs in and it was just at that point where when you’ve had a bath and its just been gradually getting colder and colder and then you move a bit too much and then its like oh the water is still warm but its too cold to just keep sitting here but its still warm but not warm enough
yeah if that makes sense
i do have a tan line under Grand-Dad’s bracelet
i think I’m wearing the skirt on the way home
i don’t know how i feel about this
anticipating christchurch wind maybe its not the best idea but its what I’m doing cos I’ve packed the rest of the stuff
and I’ve still got room even though it was pretty full on the way here
i got stuck with hiccups before and it sucked
whenever i have hiccups they’re always really loud and kinda hurt
dads gone for a walk
rebecca is packing
i finished the book and its sad that its all over


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