kinda just fucked

because of a precipice thing that i saw everything has just crashed and burned
like totally not relevant to me or my life or going to change anything to do with me
but because I’m and idiot
its just kinda ruined everything
not really 100% sure about anything anymore
finished the third and fourth seasons but still haven’t decided if I’m going to go back to the first and second or go back to a different series altogether
its been a week
a whole fucking week
i remember saying i don’t know how it could ever get to a point where i could say nah i haven’t broken to him in a while or a week or anything
this is the longest time we’ve gone without talking since him and lily and then before that I’m not sure
it sucks it really does
and i really doubt that he cares anyway
and that just makes i worse
christmas in in only two days and its kinda come out of nowhere
grandma is still in hospital
we don’t know what she’s going to be doing at christmas
this might be the first year in as long as i can remember that we haven’t had christmas breakfast at our place
there are noises in the corner that aren’t from outside or just plastic bags settling there legitimately something behind there and i don’t want to find out


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