over and over and over again

but now maybe its actually done
it feels more final than the time he actually said it was final which is weird maybe because theres a whole lot less emotions involved this time but seriously he can’t just say “my life would be more dull without you and i would do anything to keep you in my life” and then pretty much pretend i don’t exist a day later
everything smells like the stuff the painter dude put on the doorways to help wit the painting of them or whatever and we aren’t supposed to shut our doors but fuck that
half the time i can’t tell if theres earthquakes or I’m imagining things because my body isn’t working properly
I’ve gotten around to watching miss peregrines home for peculiar children and its ok i guess
saw one of my old kindy teachers at work today
when i went with rebecca to riccarton i got 8mm tunnels so my ears aren’t being pulled constantly and eyeliner that i swore id gotten from postie but now i remember that yeah it actually did come from kmart
theres really nothing else like i mean this morning becca messaged me and asked why brodie would’ve messaged her asking if her and i were on ok terms at the moment and i was like i don’t know what the fuck he’s doing we aren’t talking and then i realised it might’ve been because i told him i have no friends
which i don’t really he was the only person I’ve really talked to all holidays and now that he’s out i have pretty much nothing… i was going to say positive but thats not the right word but leaving it as i have pretty much nothing still works too

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