My posts tend to be a whole lot of what the fuck is happening

so we had a conversation
i said the thing that i wanted to about meeting up and then he kinda said yes but then after saying other stuff pretty much said no
he’s sorry keeps saying he’s sorry that he doesn’t want to hurt me or fuck me up any more than he already has whatever ok dont do things for me unless i ask
don’t tell me how you’ve made me feel or decide what is best for me
he said he’s not stable enough to be 1 on 1 with me at the moment
if you were sober would you be more stable? like dude i don’t want to do anything that fucks with your head but its not like I’m going to be screaming abuse at you or telling you i hate you or anything i don’t want to guilt you into starting shit again i just want to talk
i was there for you when you were needing someone not because you were using me but because thats what people do for each other when they care
figure out what you like doing what makes you happy and find a way to do it
i know its not that simple because i have no idea what I’m going to do with my life
i think i can smell something burning
the back of my ear hurts
i need to eat but theres nothing i want
FUCKING FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKS
WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING COMPLICATED
WHY CANT I SORT MY DAMN LIFE OUT
WHY DO I HAVE TO BE SUCH A FAILURE
everything is going wrong

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