I feel like this didn’t happen

(its not this one its the next one)
i guess i always feel like that after reading though
like the time when I’m on stage its not really happening
suddenly out of nowhere (aren’t they the same thing?)i get a notification that brodie accepted the invitation to faultline
little bit later we’re picking him up and it already felt like a totally different day than at school like what is it saturday or something?
turned out i was reading first well third but first
rebeccas home and she’s in a bad mood
what am i doing i don’t know
i think people liked my poems
i mean i dunno a couple of people came up to me and said it which was awkward and it was great and terrifying but like the problem is i kinda just black out on the stage and don’t notice what the audience is doing
and in the back of my mind i was just going fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck brodie’s here and listening to this fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck I’m going to die
so that was fun
but he’s cute as hell especially when he has photo feels so yeah
i still have very weird thoughts and can’t write anything again
invited him and olivia to the gig thing at isla’s but not 100% sure if I’m going so kinda awkward
i want to write a thing but i don’t have a thing to write about because all the things feel kinda ok at the moment whats going on shit has changed since earlier but not really

STOP BEING A WHINY BITCH AND HAVE SOME FUCKING DIGNITY FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE YOU PATHETIC FUCKHEAD

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