Well shit…

it took me an entire day to sort my mind shit out
but now its like nothing even fucking happened
yeah i know it did and I’m kinda still annoyed about it
but then by the end of the day
when i was like holy shit i need to leave in like two minutes and i haven’t said anything to him
i called him an asshole and hugged him
thats kinda like the most simplified example you could get from the last three years
i don’t know if it had anything to do with the fact that i ended up scratching up my arm again but yeah
i mean i know we still haven’t had any kind of conversation about anything
and i kinda need to
like i shouldn’t have to find out from someone else how he feels and what he’s thinking when I’ve already asked and only got either i don’t know or everything
and i kinda feel like i need to i dunno apologise in some way to amelia and say that none of its to do with her
but spending pretty much all day in the cafe wasn’t so bad
actually it was shit
but looking back on it it wasn’t the end of the world
and i need to explain to holly why i wasn’t in class
lily is gonna want to know what happened
and i don’t even know what to say
like i want to talk to him but i don’t know what to say
this is a problem
i don’t like it


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