too many posts today
but i just realised that i never actually said anything about how over the moon i was that something actually happened
like at the time i was too sad about the fact that he wasn’t at school and stuff
but seriously i was happy
really fucking happy
like more than that
even when i was sad he wasn’t at school or he was offline or i had a shit class
i was just content
for the first time since
probably
that weird couple of weeks when everything was ok
i thought everything was finally going in the right direction
and sometimes i forget
like i pick up my phone to message him out of habit
or when i wake up
or when I’m walking to school
theres like a few seconds when thinking about him is actually a happy thought
like its never a bad thought about him not like i want to avoid thinking about him like if i did it would kill me
more like its kinda a homesick feeling
shit
thats
shit
thats exactly what it is
fucking homesick

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