We Not So Good

eyyyyyyyyy back to the rolarcoaster of bullshit that we hang on to pretty much all the time
and theres nothing i can do about it
going to a movie by myself thats so much fun
i might go by myself
or i might say to mum its not happening
who knows
i might just go and drink lift alone on the balcony or some shit
but seriously whatever is or isn’t going on i am not ok
i hate how this changes so often and so quickly and yeah I’m annoyed
like fuck this why does this always happen
but mostly just sad
like i didn’t care if nothing happened tomorrow in the sense of the old shit like i would’ve been fine if we just fucking went to a movie and didn’t do anything
that would’ve been fine
but he feels shit and nothings gonna happen and
my hand is numb so now i can’t type properly
this is fun
dude change your mind
also went to lunch with grandma and sam and kate
the food was good
i had soup again
i miss him


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