so it was Lily’s birthday today turning 15 and she loved the things i gave/made her which was great and yeahhhh… she got to do a special effects course all day which was probably the best present she could have gotten
i talked to mum about me feeling all weird and unstable and fucked up and wanting to change something but not knowing how or what or anything to do to fix this
and she got me to come up with a list of stiff that i wanted to do like a long board and going to orana park and i want a cuddle pet like not a chicken or a budgie more like a cat or a dog or maybe a bunny but I’m allergic to cats so… anyway now I’ve found a maybe long board and now I’m looking at loads of clothes on the warehouse site so… yeah i don’t know what I’m doing
and i want to hang out with people but like ehhh its scary and i hate organising it an they don’t even really wanna do anything with me so what the fuck is the point?


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