The Verge of Tears

I am currently almost constantly on the brink of tears… I don’t know if it’s some kind of hormonal thing or if it’s just the headspace that I’m in at the moment but it’s hard having to constantly try and hold it back and keep in check whatever emotions I have rocketing around in here… Usually its book stuff like a couple getting together or before that when they do something cute for the other person or someone dies or is betrayed or figures out some major clue… Honestly it can be pretty much anything and tears come to my eyes… When it isn’t in a book it could be something I saw on tv about a couple having a baby or someone adopting a dog or when I talk to mum or Rebecca and sit happens and we end up yelling or not even that like I get all defensive and the hide in my room trying not to cry… I think half the time it’s because I feel so alone in everything that seeing or reading about people being together is I guess heartbreaking and then with mum and Rebecca it’s just another person not being on my side not that it’s about sides but its so complicated and screwed up and I keep trying to find some reason some switch that was flicked that made this happen because I know I have always been a bit shy and insecure and shit… but when did it come to this?

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