What was I thinking

Cue psychotic rant about Brodie (and turns into about aussie boy)

Why?
I miss talking to him but lately he sucks at conversations Things have changed between us LOTS i guess there’ll always be stuff going on with us but I dunno at the moment he just asks how my boyfriend is and i say he’s good or something like that and i’d try and keep the conversation going and it wouldn’t really work
But then on the topic of cars well i think we’re better
He’s kinda pathetic to be honest like ok you did try to start a conversation those few times but you kinda failed like best fucking concert or whatever you said i mean i don’t really care and i saw your post anyway and why do you keep asking about him i know you’re probably not jealous of him but it kinda makes it seem like it or maybe you’re jealous that I’m happy or something weird like that its not so weird i was like that i wanted you to be feeling as shit as i was and yeah it was stupid
Things aren’t perfect the whole distance issue for one its not just that we can’t touch cuddle kiss and whatever its also that we can’t hang out and do stuff together I know we can skype but sometimes it doesn’t feel like enough and it really gets me down sometimes
You say that we love each other and thats the main thing that thats all we need and you say you love me and that I’m amazing and you’re lucky to have me and I forget about it for a while
But then I end up thinking about how the hell this could actually ever work for any amount of time like i know that you can’t come over anymore next year i really doubt id be able to go over there either i wish that something would happen where we could really actually meet because i really really wanna be able to awkwardly stare at you in person
I dunno whats going on I think its mostly being upset about the distance thing and then the argument with mum but every time i walked into my room i was on the verge of tears this is like the second time I’ve cried this weekend and id usually say thats so unlike me but it keeps happening everything felt off

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