Dreamer

to bury my face in someone’s shoulder when i just wanted to hide to be able to smell them on my clothes and my skin even after i got home this is what i miss this is all i want i want to be happy i just can’t quite manage it yet i want to have someones hand to hold when i need to feel part of something to have a this is how it is this is how its going to be moment i want trust and safety and i want hugs and someone to be there just there beside me thats all i want i wanted it from him i want it from him and maybe sometime later ill want it from someone else and what scares me it maybe he can’t give me what i want but he’s the only one i want it from in my head you’re different than when i talk to you in my head you act like he did but thats all I’ve ever known and i miss hugging you i miss hanging out with you i miss talking to you but i never really did though cos you know i was always too awkward and embarrassed and shy i never knew what to say theres to much in the past and i think im the only one that it matters to you don’t seem to keep remembering when things went wrong and i just want a hug *here the wild hannah delves deep into her warm fuzzy side she keeps well hidden behind her offensive attitudes and prickly personality. this is a rare sight indeed as she admits her fears which is hardly ever done* gives up on the commentary and also speaks of cute things she wants which pretty much never happens cos she doesn’t want to admit to anyone that she isn’t strong emotionally or whatever i don’t want to be weak i don’t want to be seen as anything but crazy erratic flashes and dark and scary and i dunno dangerous but I’m so caught up in wanting and wishing and dreaming i think id rather have my dreams than my reality

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