About Mum And Pissy Stuff

we rip each other to shreds
and we know its wrong
we can’t seem to stop
we’re too alike to get along
and thats what i hate to admit
because i never wanted to
become like her
i know I’m making this harder
than it needs to be
i can’t make myself feel
any different than this
indifference
because you say what i should do
i know i should
but i can’t make myself
and it doesn’t even seem
to matter at all
and when does writing
not make me feel better
this is one of the only times
i can’t hold back the tears
no matter how hard i try
this isn’t even a poem its just me pressing enter a lot so ill give up on doing that i want to be ok and this just isn’t helping at all i wanna have somewhere else to go mum wouldn’t let me stay with dad i don’t think id want to any way because can’t even talk to him he might be sick anyway and i don’t know how to get to school from there anyway i don’t even know where he’s living at the moment the only other option would be to stay with grandma i don’t wanna do that either but i don’t know what else i can do i don’t wanna stay here any longer and rebeccas back that never seems to help either and I’ve been crying on and off since I’ve written this (at this point i changed it from going on ink because i don’t want jess or emma or lia to see this and to be honest the only person id be ok with seeing this is Brodie an thats wrong i don’t want my friends to see this but I’m ok with him seeing it i guess its cos i don’t want them to worry and he’d understand more than they would i don’t want them knowing i feel like this i just want them to think that i still have issues with boys and thats it i don’t want them to know i wanna run away from home and school i like school i need those guys but i can’t even do it anymore i won’t have enough time to dye my hair now its not really like id want mum to do it any way she wouldn’t let me i haven’t earned enough money and i haven’t helped enough and its not like I’m gonna tell her I’ve been crying is it? no cos I’ve been pretty much been crying the whole time I’ve been writing this no way am i gonna tell her that.i wanna get away from here but i really have no where to go i don’t wanna go to school tomorrow i don’t wanna have to keep this from my friends id wanna call Brodie but that would be wrong i know were kinda friends but also id start crying and i can’t do anything I CANT DO ANYTHING I CANT FIX THIS IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME no there isn’t something wrong with me not that i can give a label to nothing i can name depression? i dunno maybe i should talk to someone but i know in not gonna do anything like cut I’m too scared i can’t hurt myself and i know i shouldn’t and drugs well I’m too against that anyway not that i could get access to anything and drink nothing in the house I’m never gonna drink anyway all i have is music and words
I just wanna run, hide it away
Run because they’re chasing me down
I just wanna run, throw it away
Run before they’re finding me out
I just wanna run

I just wanna run
I’m out here all alone
I try to call your house
Can’t reach you on the phone
I’ll gather up the nerve
I’m packing up my bag
It’s more than you deserve
Don’t treat me like a drag

I’m feelin’ like I keep on talking
I’m repeating myself,
My words lost all meaning
I keep talking
I repeat myself

I just wanna run, hide it away
Run because they’re chasing me down
I just wanna run, throw it away
Run before they’re finding me out
I just wanna run (oh, oh, oh)
I just wanna run (oh, oh, oh)

Like a game of chess
I predict your move
I think I know you better
Better than you do
I’m sick of feeling cheap
Cheated and abused
Sick of losing sleep
Thinking about you

I’m feelin’ like I keep on talking
I’m repeating myself,
My words lost all meaning
I keep talking
I repeat myself

I just wanna run, hide it away
Run because they’re chasing me down
I just wanna run, throw it away
Run before they’re finding me out
I just wanna run (oh, oh, oh)
I just wanna run (oh, oh, oh) throw it away

I just wanna run, hide it away
Run because they’re chasing me down
I just wanna run, throw it away
Run before they’re finding me out, out

I just wanna run

I just wanna run, hide it away
Run because they’re chasing me down
I just wanna run, throw it away
Run before they’re finding me out

I just wanna run (Hey, hey, hey, hey,…)
I just wanna run (won’t find me out, won’t find me out)
I just wanna run
i just wanna run-the downtown fiction this song make sense to me but probably not like how it was supposed to like when Cole wrote a song i can’t remember the name of it but he wrote it about wanting to die or lose himself and there was a guy that came up to him and told him he’d thought it was about rebirth and resurrection and becoming someone better that he’d gotten lyrics from the song tattooed on his back and that hearing the song had stopped him doing drugs and being depressed the exact opposite of what it was about but I’m not like that I’m not thinking like that I’m not trying to kill myself and I’m not talking about a NARCOTICA song because Cole and NARCOTICA don’t even exist this has completely drawn me away from the whole mum thing so i guess that kinda did help ha Cole doesn’t exist but he still helped me thats so stupid he’d say so too we always argue over the same things always ending the same I’m going around in circles nothings changing even if i dod go to stay with someone all this would still be here when i came back theres nothing thats gonna change i can’t do anything I’m stuck here

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