GIHUGIC Fletcher Mind Dump

i need a mind dump
I’m doing this before i put it on the blog like i do with most of my poems and writing shit on ink but with this one i write on the new post page and don’t write things before hand. id be doing that now but since rebeccas home the wifi gets turned off at night so i can’t post stuff or talk to Brodie instead of sleeping and now at like 11pm I’m not sleeping anyway.
so yeah i need to do a mind dump why so late at night when I’m not talking to Brodie therefore no rampant emotions about him and it and I’m not even thinking about Noah (eek i don’t even know where to begin with that one) why? two words Fletcher Edmond.
So last night i had three dreams the second two something to do with fighting and a race and colours probably inspired by the power rangers (like wtf i saw one episode saturday and i get a random dream) and another when i was in bunnings or somewhere like it making a sculpture with this group of people and it was a man/rose thing i remember that i saw Brodie in the aisles and I’m pretty sure the sculpture was part of a competition… whatever those dreams aren’t the important ones to this Fletcher related mind dump even though that did help…
So in the first dream i was walking around school halswell school before everything was pulled down and the MLE buildings were built and i was with my grandma (what the even jesus?) and i think i was shoeing her around etc and then i started picking up brown paper bags like they used to use for tuck shop and i suppose i went inside to put them in the rubbish bin and i was poof in mr malin’s room there was people moving a desk int the corner by the sink and i think they were Rueben and Noah (WHY???) and while they were moving it i went and sat on it (again WHY?) they moved the desk and put it over two girls that were sitting in the corner Genevieve and someone else i can’t remember who. because i was sitting on it only part of the desk moved and there ended up being a space where my feet stuck through (this would be impossible for an actual desk to do but it was a dream after all) and so my feet were sticking down through the gap i was barefoot too (why does nothing ever make sense in my dreams?) and Fletcher came up to me i can remember that he was really tan like gold coloured and i could feel his face was warm without him even touching me. he lent towards me and i knew he was gonna kiss me cos i could feel him breathing… and then Gen started tickling my feet and i was launching and wriggling and Fletcher got pissed and said something like “that ruined your chance” and left. that was the end no idea what happened to grandma or the boys or even me after he left ugh i wanna know what happened!!!
And now i keep thinking about Fletcher, like i don’t like him or anything, i mean I’m remembering things like we were in the same class together since new entrants to year 6 and then after that we were only next door room 13 and me room 14. Stuff back as far as in kindy when i fell in the sand pit and he, Regan and another boy laughed at me. also how in new entrants ms fraser’s class i called him sir edmund hillary and i chased him around the room and he tripped on his own chair and split open his eyebrow which is what he put in the leavers yearbook but he didn’t put the part of me chasing him, maybe he forgot or just didn’t wanna put that bit in…
Geez this is a lot but i guess the more i think about him the more i remember… He used to do gymnastics and we ended up doing it together for a few sessions and then he stopped and i changed days he came to the kidsfest circus class once with his brother waaaay before i started teaching we ended up being in the same group and i teased him about how he did gymnastics but still couldn’t do cartwheels, how when they asked us to put which people we wanted to be in classes with next year i always put him, how Ella who I’m no longer friends with chased him and Jeremy around the playground with bratz dolls. one thing i can never remember if it was a dream or not… i think he kissed Ella behind the green seats… we were like 7 ok and i think it was the same year that Karla kissed Oscar and i know Ella liked him, we both did, me on and off for most of my school life even at kindy… Wow… thats just… I’ve liked boys since i was like 4… Fuck… I just broke my childhood… I… I uhm… Woah…
in year 7 0r 8 he asked me while i was walking back to class along the decking why i rolled my pants up and didn’t just wear shorts honestly i can’t remember how i answered i think it was like something about well if i got cold i could roll them down and i couldn’t do that with shorts…
I still can’t figure out if he actually kissed Ella or if it was another dream…
Maybe I’ll keep writing my random dreams here… Maybe….
That took me like half an hour to write and while doing that i broke my childhood and remembered a hell of a lot more about Fletcher than i thought i would…


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