i kinda just did nothing

like actually
rebecca is learning how to do skype which is kinda weird


being old and responsible

went to laneways and ended up there too early but then i got to have a chat with Victor not josh and have booked in for the 16th of january which is the week aftergoing to clearwater with dad and rebecca
need to ask at work how they feel about tattoos because verve and vines should be ok because of the long sleeves but im not so sure with spitroast because its a short sleeved shirt
went to riccarton after and honestly my bank account has been abused today
at inspirations i got a sphinx statuette a couple charms and some blue dyed fill a bag stones that i was originally going to stick on something for mum
got the dutch liquorice for mum
went and got four tops for myself at kmart then eyeliner and a milk pourer
ended up sticking the stones onto the milk pourer and its probably going to rebecca instead but i also dont know how well the glue will end up sticking like possibly not at all but i have a couple weeks to fix that if it hasnt done anything decent by tomorrow
and finally i went to paknsave and got a six pack od half size lift+ which is now chilling under my bed
thats about it really
had tea in the tiny house
did i say i put up the tree yesterday? cos if not i did and had good talks with brodie and he sent me his music and i had a bit of a rant on tumblr so that was a fun time
now what?

So the day was today

the dude who served us at winnie bagoes was cute
really skinny and had a shaved head but he was cute… reminded me of ronan a little and he said things different than you’d expect
like you got a game plan when we were ordering
it was cool i appreciate him
we ended up walking all the way to h&m but i did end up buying the skirt that i didnt get when i was there with loghann
then to glassons where i messaged laneways and ended up with a consultation tomorrow but im scared of how im gonna get there
then mecca then ballentynes
anyway kinda got lost on the way back
rebecca and i went to riccarton where we got things for mum from the body shop and then the callender place where i was gonna get a thing and she was gonna get a thing then we got eachother the thing and was like its christmas
and then the phone place
set up mums phone a bit and yeah thats about it
i feel pretty shit and thats all

tomorrow is the day

but today? nah nothing really
went back to work and it was pretty bad there but i managed to stick around for the full time
need to wait and see if noah is allowed to come cos idk i kinda feel like he needs consent from the others
going out tomorrow
wrapped presents


actually had a good conversation with dad today at lunch
he realised i had dyed my hair again today but last time he hadnt noticed and it was the same when i had dyed my hair red again he only noticed or mentioned in the second time he saw it so i think he has a one lunch delay
rebecca is home
bought the cassette recorder/player for mums christmas and had to split cash and card but then had to put money back on my card for winnie bagoes on tuesday
can hardly wait to finish work but also dont want to work at all for the other places because i just cant be bothered
i dunno
watching riverdale again to avoid too many spoilers in memes and random internet shit

home again home again home again home again giggidy gig

yes i just looked up the proper quote for that from a 1996 elmo’s preschool cd game on youtube
but first full day at home and fuck its hot to sleep here
i did stay in bed and sleeping off and on till like half 11 and then not really much else
having lunch with dad tomorrow
maybe im leaving my curtains open tonight and my window proper shut?
the homebase selections came out and im in steven’s confirmed and my friends who had been the only reason i had picked steven’s was because i thought some of my other friends would end up in his but none of them did and they all ended up in alisha’s
except jess who ended up in allen’s homebase
also Ethan is in alisha’s too so thats cool cos ill probably be hanging out in there a lot not sure where steven’s homebase will be though but maybe next door to the maths room so that would be great
i think i got lowkey electricitied by my laptop charger
i havent actually straight out mentioned to anyone that im in his homebase cos it feels a little like a betrayal thing because i know how much they wanted to be in stevens homebase and i didnt really want to be

Day four

Day four last day starts at 2am
So she was up crying but I have her some moisturiser for her sunburn and then had a bit of a chat the went back to sleep and she was asleep when I got up this morning and yeah Ethan you and Phoenix are up and out in the kitchen my six in the morning aye cos I got up and it’s twenty past and I’m the only one here I did just hear someone come from the direction of the boys bunks so maybe but I don’t actually want to be up early and shit but hanging out before the students are up and turns out it was only seb who got up currently on the constant verge of having a bleeding nose cos it’s really irritated and sensitive at the moment and in with I could go to sleep up here but hey got eat a cookie or something had an Apple because I have no idea where the home baking has gone or even if we still have any left but Monty and Luca are up and Pete is coming through too cos I saw him just then and I probably put my Apple core in the wrong place but hey no one saw me do it so much for them being here at six aye it’s 20 to seven Pete told me that we had been doing really great as leaders and some of the strongest leaders that he’s seen on any camp and it’s hard to take praise like that I probably shouldn’t be lying down because I might end up falling asleep up here
Kath is up now so breakfast should start going soon but I’m just pretty shit so don’t wanna help with anything but nah I kinda just feel shit
Had breakfast with Ethan and we didn’t have glasses at our places he grabbed one for him and then I complained a little then he gave me his and got another one
Yes I went and put eyeliner on when we were supposed to be cleaning up and yeah I did eventually get into the mindset of delegating to the students rather than doing everything myself and ended up invitees car with Ann-marie and Ethan the gang is almost all here
I keep almost falling asleep in the car and I was going to grab my bag out of the van when they dropped off liana but Pete forgot so not I have to go to school and Ethan is getting dropped off on the way mum picked me up but arrived before the van with my other bag in it did so that was annoying get to eat my own good now
going home i slept for i dont know how long and then yeah only got up at twenty past five and my nose is still pretty fucked up but i cant see anything

Day three

Day three not a good sleep
So was up with Natalie late and then at some point around half four one of the other girls was like Natalie art you alright so I went down again and had a chat and I think she’s going home today because she hasn’t slept at all but it turns out she isn’t going home but at least I do have to be above her because the other two left today
We’re playing go home stay home and Jack just yelled I’m no longer cheating it was a bit of a hard game to start up running but it was something that Logan wanted to do and especially after picking him out for not doing too much with the food prep and crushing those biscuits for a whole long time and getting him to do dishes with a couple of the others who hadn’t quite pulled their weight during duties it’s weird for me hearing my own voice now and I really like talking to Ethan and it’s easy to forget he’s only fifteen and I hope we’ll still end up talking next year at school because realistically I won’t see him again till then
It’s when camp gets dark and we go outside that I start missing Brodie and honestly I just considered texting him so maybe it’s a good thing that I don’t have bars at the moment even though I’m still stuck out here at the end of the go home stay home bounds I actually don’t feel shit and I really appreciate how Ethan’s been this week like real east to talk to
But like the one day I don’t put on sunscreen then I get burnt and it was probably when we were playing animal survivor and it was actually pretty awesome to be able to play it and they enjoyed it even though there were some issues with some of the lives and they nd extras or were sharing them between friends and afterwards I think it worked really good that we didn’t go through with any activities in the afternoon and did just let them chill and do whatever they wanted with themselves
Ended up at the slide with Ethan when the group we had managed to sort the game by themselves and just chatted and he even said he was gonna go hang with me because he was bored and had no one to talk to But it wasn’t in a you’re the only option thing but yeah there did end up being some comments made about us like we had even been making about Noah and mitarina but I said I was taken then that I had a wife and now I think I’ve managed to convince Jack Luca Monty and I don’t know if Cameron was listening that I’m gay and have a wife
In all honesty I just want to hang out with Ethan tonight and not go to bed so early but with how bad I slept last night I don’t really want to in a way as well we didn’t end up with much hang out as leaders time because we were doing dishes and dinner and deserts
Ethan rolled down the hill and managed to hit a tree and honestly I liked it when I could banter and have a bit of back and forth with the boys about shit but now I’m in the bunkroom with Natalie who is still not breathing clearly and is pissing me off a bit and yeah I know there’s the girls outside but also they’re not my people cos my people is Ethan

Day two

Day two the invasion
Actually slept surprisingly well all things considered although my neck really hurts and so does my back and knee
I might be going off rice cakes who woulda thought that would ever happen but yeah
Kinda wanna get up and help with breakfast but also just can’t be bothered and I don’t wanna put shoes
A couple of people that I hadn’t expected asked me how I slept but I got no one to talk to now I feel kinda shit but to be fair I feel kinda shit most of the time I’m tired I think but also not around people I really like and it’s not even sick just empty and like not feeling anything just a void
It’s cool when you sit with people but have nothing to talk to them and they don’t make the effort and I don’t like their music anyway and the four of us event gotten back to our little group that we managed to find and in also hate how Amy is wearing socks and jandals but she can get away with it because she’s cool
Second day of eating lettuce and I’m pretty ok with my group Noah recognised my hoodie as merch and we played very creatively scored volleyball but Lucy and I had a laugh about scoring points completely wrong and then the flags went kinda ok but our group hanging with Ethan and Monty on the benches this actually pretty great
My girls went to bed really early or at least long before the 11pm bedtime that we had and I had to come in and shower once they were down feel a little bad and also a bit awkward but hey I got to hang out with Ethan and Ann-marie upstairs for a while
Natalie was very restless when I went to bed so I got down and asked if she was ok or needed a walk or water and she said she was fine but after a while I got back down and said she should come out to the common room and have a chat with me there were the girls still in there though so we went outside with the bugs and we ended up talking about some pretty deep stuff that a kid her age shouldn’t have to deal with like her brother and parents hurting her and them being strict and not always having enough food and that she cried a bit and I almost cried and I think we were out there for about an hour and I think she just needs someone to listen to her although have hasn’t settled no that we’ve come in so I don’t know how such a tiny person can manage to move my entire bunk but she does when she’s kicking about ans to think I was going to give her a bit of a hard time about moving around so much

So day one

So day one
Meeting up at the school
Ended up with taylah Jack and Sally in Pete’s car and there are times when I feel a little bit unused but really I don’t have any people here really
I’m alone in my bunkroom and it sucks to not have anyone I can talk to
Was basically squished up with Jack the whole car ride here so that wasn’t distracting at all
Was a pretty decent drive there
I think I’m taking a bottom bunk because I don’t think I can be arsed going up the stairs there’s people playing music
Got together to talk about the plans and shit which was actually ok.. The people I’m with are actually ok when they’re not all in their group and Ethan ans Kieran are actually ok
Having said that I’m still chilling in my bunkroom alone again
Watching the kids (leaders but I feel like a parent) play volleyball but I’m so not gonna play and I’ve got a new bite on my elbow.. I don’t know where the Pete’s car crew went but they’re off somewhere else
I have been asked twice if I wanna play but like nah
Made dinner and ended up in there longer than everyone else and definitely felt like more of a parent
I think I’ve found my people
With Ann-marie and Ethan and Kieran we chill we have good chats we talk about life and kick around footballs throw those rugby ball things with tails and then sit on chairs close together kicking a ball between our feet and then on a hill in the dark sit on a bench talking about things then Kieran and I rolled down the hill once to see how it was then the second time on the way to bed and it was a whole lot of fun and I don’t usually have fun so that’s saying something
You get like half way and then think you’re about at the bottom but you just keep going and going and it’s awesome
I do wish I had my favorite people around especially Loghann she would have gone down the water slide with me or because if he I would have gone and we could have rolled down the hill together and I would have had to keep reminding her to put on sunscreen and she turned up at school today for a little bit and I got a really good hug from her and then she texted me saying it was the best hug ever
I have to keep eating cherries before they go off and then do the life tickets for animal survivor tomorrow when we find out how many kids we have coming and then divide then into green blue and red prey predators and top of the food chain peeps
Ethan says he’s going to roll down the hill with us tomorrow
Honestly so glad that we have our own ensuites in the girls bunks because there’s a tap close by and I has a shower after rolling down the hill and ya twas good