(phone note)
on the bus with kate again and its olympics day and i dont know if sam saw me or kate
long jump 3.4
shot put 5.39
javelin 11.5
‘i hope my ankles are huge because thats a lot [of sunscreen]’
i am so fucking burnt and i also saw theos shoulders for the first time so yeah seems like they actually exist
im so burnt
alisha did henna on my hand and it was coos but also kinda weird cos im pretty sure she doesnt like me
i feel weird for wearing shorts and a long hoodie and theres lots of kids around now

so on the bus in the morning there were so many kids talking about fortnite and i was weirded out by it because they werent my people
got a small six pack of lift
so yeah im burnt but this is how i get my tan for the year
i dunno nothing really significant happened
went to the crematorium and played guitar because its one year since grandma died


i had a meltdown

not like non functioning
but basically not being able to stop laughing while on the way to the supermarket with loghann and i think i was pretty weird like worse than usual like should not being going in public while acting like that
i feel sorry for ethan and his friend for witnessing that
i dont know what was wrong with me everything was funny and then even when there was nothing funny i couldnt stop laughing and giggling and it hurt and i dont know i was a mess
i actually managed to start making the first thing for sculpture stuff and its the i have sensitive airways one
unfortunately i wont be able to work on it more till next week so that sucks
olympics day tomorrow where apparently we have to have already signed up for all the events already (i wasnt at homebase either day this week and couldnt) and need to be wearing out community colour head to toe (i refuse to do so) and the whole thing is compulsory (good luck with that the students dont actually want to be there) and no one is allowed to leave the field to buy lunch (again good luck and jokes on you im going to the supermarket before i go in to the field so ha ha ha ha suck one)

Nostalgia – a collection from this day over the years

The sick, sick irony. My budgie dies and our topic is on nests. I hate irony. Tomorrow the white lights of hope will be turned off.

Bad writing. Art with Holly sat alone with Tash. On the way to need for speed Liam couldn’t remember where it was and so I walked with him. Ella ended up walking with us and she gave me a little square of mirror. She gave one to Liam too. I threw mine over my shoulder and Liam did too. then I said great minds think alike and he laughed. On the way home on the bus I sat with Zara! She had a huge crush on Liam and she told me to tell him that we were best friends. I said I’d tell him she misses him.

those were the only ones in the actual book diaries i had from todays date but i do have like three years worth of diaries so maybe ill do that a little more often like just add a note from me a couple years ago
the ones from when i started highschool will be especially interesting because i dont really remember much of what happened before i got into things with brodie

i didnt go to school today and thats basically all that mattered


school was cool
wet hair
supermarket trips while worrying about dripping mascara
maintaining barely a shred of a friendship with ethan but i cant lose it and cant bring it back more
now its quite wet
this cyclone gita or hurricane or whatever it is is giving us crap weather
and we’re a flood risk
so packed everything up and i might not be able to go to school tomorrow
i feel like shit
(on brodie saying i do really have the money to text him) sure i do have the money but i realised i dont want to talk to you enough to have to pay for it
its not like we’re dating anymore


Kate is on my bus and it’s weird because I think she hasn’t seen me but I don’t know what the protocol is do I make myself known I don’t wanna make it seem like we need to be sitting together it’s weird to see her in uniform I’m not used to seeing so many people on the bus in the mornings I think Lia got on and God knows I haven’t seen her in ages but she couldn’t actually get on or something
was freaking out about being late and turns out it was only by five minutes but im going to have to leave half an hour earlier just to make sure im not five minutes late which is absolutely ridiculous
Paperwork and I’ve signed my signature so many times today I don’t remember how long gemma have me for a break but I’m going to have to find the toilets after this hot chocolate and I don’t know where the bin is I need these people to leave so I don’t feel scared anymore I need to stop feeling scared or feeling like crying I need to get comfortable in this staff room but it’s not my staff room that I work in so I’m scared
Started doing coffee shots and had a pie and a half hour break for lunch lemon lime and bitters a guy drew me and elephant and signed it with a mouse he was nice talked to Chris about having black shirts instead busing home at 4 into rush hour just need to remember where I need to get off later it’s good to be off my feet for a little while will be actually making while coffees next week there’s this kid who thinks he’s so collaborating his music through a speaker he’s a fucking cunt and yeah he is only a kid and there’s a guy a couple seats in front of me who wants him to stool but now it’s kinda too late for either of us to tell him to shut it off and he’s playing shit popular music the guy got off and now I’m stuck with this fucking kid

gonna have to explain the shirt

had a panic earlier when i was going through 167 and it said we cant have long sleeves rolled up – the shirt i have has folded sleeves – im gonna have to say it was the best we could find where we went looking and i can get my mum to fix it for next week
watched a couple episodes of zrknautica and figured out the whole bus situation for tomorrow too which is kinda scary
ive got photos of the actual bus stops and sure i dont have to worry as much about the one when going home its just that im terrified of the whole thing walking where i dont know and shit
i need to press the 100 button with the turn from medbury and then catch the 120 and then again at the turn onto brougham and then walk back the way i came and then further – crossing a bog road then a small road and then ill be at the front entrance with the cafe
and i have to do all this while in a really bad mood because im getting up at 6 in the morning
i hate this
transport is long when you dont know it
but ive got ten bloody weeks of this to survive
just sent a tiny rant to brodie
do i regret that?
i mean we had a nice bit earlier when i told him about the bar thing
i need to watch more youtube to calm down
last night i had a dream where i was working at a cafe and calvin was a chef there and then i had to get this lady a lasagne and it was taking ages to get it sorted out and then by the time i had it ready she had left and then i was looking for jobs to do and then someone told me they needed five? coffees and cameron was outside with his family

happy 14th birth

or happy 14th birt
or happy 4th birt
or happy birt
depending on how far along the eating of the chocolate words was on the plate that i ended up with that was supposed to be for sam but because we had all three at the end ordered the same thing i passed my plate to him and he had passed his to jonty so i ended up with the one that said happy birthday on it and yeah it was fine
the meeting at nazareth house went fine too
im there monday 9 till 3:30 im kinda nervous but i also havent thought too much about it so like i havent processed the fact that im going to be doing shit there
im always scared to see if people have replied to my emails
i had a nap when i got home and thats unheard of and im tired as fuck now but i dont want to sleep

lalalalalala fuk?

went and got a shirt with robyn and it wasnt so bad
probably do need pants though and of course a not black bra for under it
went to bio and it was chill but also i felt kinda shit but it was also the last day so i gave brent the kakapo and he liked it and then
(HE EMAILED ME AND SAID THANYOU AND IT WAS GREAT AND IM HAPPY (although i feel like my reply wasnt up to scratch))
loghann and i discovered the best version of fire boy and water girl- forest temple three
i may be about to try complete it myself
i also found forest temple two
i gave ethan a jelly bean
scared for tomorrow though

fucking DaY

valentines right
holly gave me a kiss on the cheek and i gave her a tiny house flyer
i eventually finished the kakapo
i just need to get it to school tomorrow without fucking up its face
i cooked tea and i dont know had a conversation with brodie about how he feels about sex
i dont know what else
i had a 1-1 with steven
chimpanzee in a suit smoking a cigar
and he came in to the art room at on point in the afternoon and he kinda didnt recognise me cos i had my hair up and then i said it didnt happen often and he said it should
and that was actually it