so Winston Peters has announced tonight he will be joining Labour and in extension but not in his words the Greens
he didnt however make the decision in time for me to put it into my folio
i helped Theo tape one of his panels
hung out with Kitty
nothing else really
so the new docs right
soooo not broken in
fucking blisters ok
i went to Janelle in the office before school even started and got plasters
by the time i was at the bus stop after school i took them off and went home barefoot
maybe not the best idea before i go to the doctor tomorrow afternoon to look at my fucked up toe and hand skin and also my ears which are still blocked
my back is also very sore at the moment but its probably just that i have shit posture
also double french braided my dreads which is interesting going to have to wash them (take them out wash my hair put them back in) over the weekend


Im legit now

got docs this afternoon
like real ones
like i spent way too much money
like i need to celebrate the fact that ive done something that i really wasnt sure if i would manage
Holly really wants me to put glitter or sequins on my folio but i keep saying no
maybe at the beginning of next year when it comes back I’ll spray adhesive on it or draw in glue something i dunno what but then pour glitter all over it
who knows
its almost finished
had an almost final follow up conversation with (CHARLES MESSAGED ME HOLY SHIT OH MY HOLY GOD I FEEL SO LOVED IM SHOOK (and i fucking hate the word shook) IM BLESSED IM LIVING (im also waiting for loghann to check the snapchat i sent her about it)
(we had a tiny conversation and i tagged him in a random dancing bird video)(shot down)
so im doing good with my art like better than id hoped for earlier this year when i was almost convinced i wouldnt even complete it
so went and got the new piercing jewelry and got the helix fitted and the ones i put in my seconds at home were fucking hard to do but at least i know i can do them myself and now all of my ears are silver
i feel a bit sick
i have real docs now and it was easier than i thought to get them
met up with miriam in the morning and saw becca through a window
i dont know what else
played sweet valley high again and i actually won the second game after miserably losing the first one
I joked about inviting Steven to play because he was looking though the window at us playing and said something that i think i understood and said yes to but im not entirely sure what he said but anyway it would probably not end well because Loghann and I are broken and i swear too much and we have too many in jokes with the game
watching jack whitehall now
that it really

doing better (+ victory boots)

im almost done with my folio and im not really panicing right now
as a holy fuck ive done it thing im going to buy a pair of real docs tomorrow and if i dont forget ill get the helix piercing changed too if i also remember to get the new hoops for my seconds
i kinda fucked my shoulder at work i dont know what i did to it but yeah it fucking hurt from my shoulder to my wrist maybe a twinged nerve or something but its mostly better now
i have a doctors appointment for friday afternoon
going to talk to miriam tomorrow and hopefully follow up on everything and ask her to contact beccas mum
i kinda want to skype jarrod and i dont know why
i might be missing attantion
Loghann and i were especially dysfunctional today
her alena and i completed the ice temple fireboy and watergirl game entirely
i dont really know what else to say
need to try and see brodie tomorrow
i do actually miss him


so mum dropped me at school first day back for the term and had to take my folio back in
turns out after talking to holly again im doing better than i thought i was
when loghann got to school we played fireboy and watergirl and we kept getting Bs on the levels at one point we got an A and a C but those were one offs
there was a couple levers we just couldnt manage to pass but playing them at home tonight ive managed to do the one we struggled on
i somehow ended up singing the alphabet while playing??? i thing i went ‘ayyyy’ about something and then just kept going
i got to like j or somethign before i realised what i was doing
kept laughing through the first class about it
then lunch played it too and i ended up with the hiccups and it just was so fucked and actually really awesome
i dont mind having dreads again
i mentioned kinda to holly about what had happend with becca and im going to try and talk to miriam tomorrow about asking her to contact Linda because after everything its like i dunno i was going to leave it but now that holly says i should talk to her mum then its probably a good suggestion
not really much else to say
work is shit as usual

apologies in advance for any dreadful puns

and i only mean that in the sense that i have dreads again and i dont know how to feel about it
like really i dont know if this was a good idea or not like maybe i shouldnt have
but tomorrow
is school
is folio
is talk to holly
is try not to cry
went and didnt eat food with dad and rebecca
shes gone for work again
ive watched five episodes of the flash season two
switching back to youtube for the night though
dan and phil played fireboy and watergirl and id forgotten id been playing it with loghann
if alena isnt there tomorrow we gotta
thats is probably


so the memorial where i only recognised a couple of old men because they were old when i first knew them and theyre still old now
it was weird being back there like in the church and the hallways and the kitchen and the hall and the side room cos i remember it but also i dont
no jordan
it was kinda emotional at some points and i got close to crying even though i felt like i had no right to
damn these people who can memorise their poems
i havent written anything in a while
good for him though
so after
went to the body mind spirit festival and i bought a lotus cup as per interest discussed in a particular post and then got a thai massage which was actually really great my back clicked loads and it actually felt really good even though there were some spots that made me flinch a little and some that almost made me laugh
i still smell like menthol
i miss talking to charles and mostly just being around him
cant use becca as a go between now though
watched the first episode of season two… do i keep adding my reactions?
theres literally no context to it and you wouldnt know what i was talking about unless you were watching it along at the same time and even then some of it wouldnt match up in any obvious way because thats just how my brain works
i might keep my reactions to myself

Tattoo talks

talking to emma (wendy’s daughter) about tattoos and artists and all that stuff and im basically having a anxiety attack talking to someone i dont really know and especially not in person about things that are important to me but im not very good at putting into words in writing not out loud
im second guessing everything im saying
on the subject of artists
‘you should click with them they should make you feel confident and comfortable’
i dont just click with anyone i cant talk to people or feel confident in most settings im not a functioning human
this is a really weird dynamic
is dynamic even the right word
i feel like we’re almost trying to validate eachother in this conversation to confirm that what we’re saying is ok and we’re not stepping too far off the mark
its very strange


ive used three different kinds of dye over the last two days and now my nails are stained purple pink and red
not so bad if it were intentional but theyre patchy and annoying
some idiot is setting them off at the moment and its so not in season
if i were a rain cloud i would target them specifically

i have never gotten so emotional over a character death (like ever in the history of all the book ive read and tv shows and movies ive seen in my entire life) as i did in guardians of the galaxy volume 2
it was the worst emotional shit in a very long time that was just fully sad
just deep aching sadness that came from fucking nowhere
rebecca is home
i have a barely noticeable purple streak in my hair and ive got to admit i miss changing my hair colour more often


no not the cows
so i watched the next episode of telltale’s guardians of the galaxy and decided that i might as well watch the actual movies
so i did
i also have custard
found old photos of me and jordan and written on the back of one of them was that i was going to marry him
not that i was thinking that if i saw him at the memorial id hope he would propose but like it would be interesting to see him now
i dont really remember anyone else from back then
i kinda remember the playground out the back of the playgroup and sunday school room and also the hall a bit with the giant plastic fort thing and then building castles out of the big wooden blocks
i remember his birthday party at chipmunks and also pizza at his place for a party and the party where we met at the band rotunda and put all our map pieces together and ended up at the beach with a treasure chest and then climbing the treehouse tree and naming the branches i dont remember much else but i know i loved him in a four year old kind of way maybe i still do in a four year old kind of way
guardians made me cry too much it wasnt ok
watching the second one now
the memorial for chris wyatt is on saturday thats what got all this going
im considering dying a streak of the red purple
i dyed mums hair again and now my hand is stained pink
i may have also stained the phone when i had a chat with aunty diana
my hands will also be slightly red tomorrow once ive tinted my hair
and maybe purple of the streak works out
i miss the whole riverdale people it was a good world… still got jughead if im honest

about a storm

so i didnt go to sleep till 3am
and for the first time in a very long time i took my window off the catch because i was sick of the whiny bugs coming in and me having to find them and kill them in the dark
at half past five there was lighting and thunder and rain that woke me up
and because i took my window off the catch and properly shut it the water that had been coming in at the top
yes water pouring in on the inside of my window
was pooling on the windowsill
it was the most of a storm theres been in a very long time
thunder lightning rain hail wind the whole thing
and i went to get mum cos i figured that she couldnt sleep through it if i hadnt like me who sleeps through earthquakes woke up to this storm so she would definitely be awake
i gave her a fright opening her door cos she had just gotten up too
ended up putting towels in the bathroom toilet and my room because the water was just flooding in
by 6 id had breakfast and after only like two hours of sleep i went back to bed
then woke up at lunch when wendy was here and whatever whatever
watched dead men tell no tales
and youtube and
finished riverdale
responses to season one episodes 10 onward went as follows (its a lot ok allow me)

this was a bad idea from the start
thats not how you sing happy birthday
love how you timed him to be perfectly the right distance away to sing the whole song before you got to him
yo yo that was harsh its a good thing i started to like you before all this happened
she is kinda pathetic though
youre being a dick cos youre lonely stop
wait maybe i was a little right about the twincest thing
finally your dad is being responsible
also guess who’s gonna hate birthdays even more after this
you live here why are you going like i get why but still
i don’t ship it though
i kinda like the snake metaphors but not really
are your nails even long enough bitch?
i know what its like though man just cut your nails and its fixed
don’t kiss her again bro it aint good
just hurry up and figure out the killer
he just has a problem with kissing girls with lipstick
it didn’t go all the way right?
ok maybe it did?
yeah and this time ya fucked him
we’re home????
don’t side with mrs cooper mrs cooper is a dickbag
nah nah nah nah nah boi nah nah nah
ma boy actually looked happy
its been two years you guys need to halt don’t get his hopes up
thanks you for not putting that on your own hand you bitch
i don’t trust your milkshakes anymore lady
so i was right not to trust the smoothie milkshake whatever
what did they leave what did they do wrong
Why AreYoU HHOldinng hAndS Wyit Both oF ThEm
you have the ring you nasty bitch
good you got balls for like two seconds congratulations
yes hug him hug him hug him please don’t slap him
thats not the kind of incense i thought it was gonna be
⅛ th blossom
actually felt a little sorry for cheryl there
dead? dead?
overdose but was it forced?
can none of the kids drive here?
yes boy you got it boy boy you done it
why are we drowning in maple syrup?
all the parents did it
i don’t think fred did though
cheryl is about to get rkoed
i think you should have kept that last part till the next episode
but why monroe?
i see your scooby doo reference
cut your fucking nails bitch
she might be ok but he isn’t not the way he looked at her nah
woAHHHH she fcked him right off there
no cos youre just a pretty face youre kinda useless
take archie out of the story and what happens?
you started unbuttoning your top button geez betty youre starting to let yourself go
what what why is he ok
i don’t actually want her to die
so now the thin ice doesn’t matter
jesus blood
dude hulked the ice but like ginger hulk with lots of blood
you just tried to kill yourself? ok time to get drunk
so thats when he actually hurt himself
not true you lying shit you like her
stop fondling his earlobe you weirdo
good thing she didn’t say what song they were playing because that would have been awkward
have they even had time to practice it together? lol nope but its gonna sound great anyway
who’s gonna come in and shoot up the place thats my question
they all manage to have different milkshake flavours veronica’s is very dark and betty’s is light and vanilla and archie’s is half of each he isn’t ok or decided or anything
is she burning herself down too?
up to some hanky panky in that clean trailer eh?
yo he took his beanie off he’s ready (in the same way that ksi says ready in his disstracks)
HE SAID LOVE (I’m not crying youre crying)
everyone is up to shit tonight
nah don’t show me this same shit with betty and jughead i couldn’t handle that
nah nah nah they’re doing it
they all probably have real boners
imagine acting this there’e be no background music or anything it must be so awkward
i know why i like him he wears grey long-sleeved shirts they’re my only weakness
of course it would be her mom i know its not but thats seriously something she would do
i know i said i didn’t want this but damn DaMn
he cute he hot he weird he a snake now
snek snek snek snek
those sleeves are a little tight on your biceps is that the point?
does this mean pops is getting shot up? I’m still waiting for people to come in brandishing guns
that pause face though
no fred fred no i love you don’t do it
you burnt your mum up? but she was ok you lot were outside watching it burn and now she’s fucked up???