Fresh Meat + my first election participation

went to lunch with dad
was good
there were some long silent parts but we can talk pretty good about tv generally
and then just more and more and more fresh meat
this must sound strange out of context but its a show with jack whitehall in it although im starting to prefer kingsley to JP in the show
turns out the guy with that tattoos who was digging shirtless has a daughter that he looks after by himself
becca says she is going to go talk to miriam either monday or wednesday and by the sounds of it im going with her
and yeah so i voted today
the votes are doing their thing and now we just wait
it does seem like we might end up back with national but if nzfirst decides to swing to labour and greens rather than with national and act (with its single tiny yellow seat david seymore who ignored the young people at the mall and only acknowledged middle aged people) then its possible we’ll have a change


so the family now knows about my new piercing

and by new i mean the one i got 11 months ago and ive even gotten three ear piercings after that
so really its not new
its very old
and it doesnt matter that i have it because it doesnt change my every day appearance its not on constant display its possibly one of the most normalised piercings now it was a symbol of me overcoming some of my issues with my own body and its infinitely less noticeable than a haircut and definitely more temporary should i decide to take it out (if i did it would disappear instantly the scar would be hardly visible not that i would let anyone see my stomach anyway whereas a haircut would take months maybe more than a year to go back to how it was before)
got some art done
i think im too emotional about theo for the little i know him
but as always thats just how i roll
and by roll i mean curl up in a ball and cry in the corner
ive been not outright but semi friendzoned and somehow lily thought it meant he liked me
i might just suggest a movie so it doesnt end up being really awkward
im rather tired
so lily couldnt make it on sunday and i asked charles if he would still be ok with doing something he said hes weird around people now but he still would and theres not going to be any hugging or anything
i cant even begin to imagine what thats going to be like
hence the movie so he doesnt have to put up with me wanting to be way too close to him for the boundaries he’s giving
but this because of this anything more with him is off the cards till he’s emotionally sorted or he lets me in more and actually explains to me whats up
i havent even considered the whole becca shit
i dont want to feel like im keeping something from him even though its not really my lie to come clean about and she doesnt even know that i know and its not my place to tell him but he deserves to know if shes been saying all this shit to him aswell and its just not ok
especially when she will continue to lie to our paces for as long as we let her
so why should we stand on perfect friendship pretences when she has done nothing but lie to us from the start its sick
nothing else to add really

i think he lowkey hates me

kinda told holly some of what has been going on with becca and may have pissed charles off
i blame lily
not in a bad way but i get in weird moods around her
yeah so she was at school
finished the internal 40 minutes early
had a fire drill
nothing else to say really it just ended up us being in the back of the cafe in a more level and even dynamic than we’ve been in a while
you wouldnt guess what else becca has lied about
so she lied to me for a year about brice right
but since i met her
so she’s always said that she’s adopted
and has a twin sister
at one point she said she had a triplet and yeah it was a thing for a bit
but lily asked her mum about it and turns out she isnt
her parents are her birth parents and she never had a different name at birth never had a twin or triplet and the whole cancer thing is a lie too
after that im done
whatever with the fake pregnancies and the whole kinda but kinda not catfishing thing with brice… it was the cancer and adoption that really did it
now going on a fuckery into sweet valley high

there should be a lot to say but i dont want to bother

lets go backwards (it failed chronologicality has gone out the window)
did the last bit of notes i could manage for the bio internal ive got tomorrow
jake from rebeccas work is staying here tonight and maybe tomorrow i dont know
its shit
gave ray the things for the zines
need to publish more stuff on ink
(tried and failed cos i got sidetracked with talking to people on facebook and writing my bio into my blog)
need to figure out how to fix the issue that catherine and i had with her blog posts earlier today
didnt really get much from the writing session at the workshop today but did some performance stuff with the microphone stand and how to move it and be cool about it
sunday is seeming like a greater possibility and its gonna hopefully be good
also going to see lily tomorrow
the bunny was at school today
loghanns bunny the one that peed on me and looks like its just run through a pile of cocaine flour
i got to hug him too
went to find duncan to have a talk about going back for year 14
just missed him and yeah it was awkward but he hasnt told me i cant and yeah basically said yes to it as long as i keep my shit together
talked to becca and have basically forced her into going to see miriam with me at some point and yeah hope that goes as planned
she had a meeting this morning and she says she now has this plan of being a student still but doing all of her work at home and then coming in on a wednesday to show what she’s been up to
i dunno
like it sounds reasonable but i still dont know if i can believe it
jack and i talked a little about the peer mentoring thing that braedon is doing
and seeing as im probably going back next year i can do it

currently going through every single post on my other blog because new start

but its not really a new start because of it being like ‘im just going to private anything that is more than like five lines and add loads of categories that won’t make much sense to anyone else and if its less than five lines ill copy and paste it to a notes page and just leave it there for probably forever”

i still have two years to go through and to put up all the things that i havent put on yet like the things from rising voices and the faultine workshops
and then all of my other new ones too not loking forward to tagging everything though
this is my version of the yellow class art blog

the internal this morning didnt go as badly as i thought it would and yeah theres some things i need to look up still and add to my notes but its not as terrifying as i thought it would be
i think reading through some of the exemplars helped
had two games of sweet valley high with loghann and alena cos she was finally back and it was good to have her around
the first game was really short and loghann won
the second game was longer but she won in the exact same way she won the first game
she had her whole board full and i’d taken Kenthews to stop her from winning as soon and give alena and i a chance to get back into it but it was the very last move and she got a change boyfriends square
becca was still away
i have poetry tomorrow which i still need to write up my bio and the two poems for the zine and my mini zine
im kinda fucked right now
did ok in art
theo was surprisingly distracting
there were no lifts anywhere on the shelves in the entire supermarket
there were a couple of green ones left cos no one likes them but there were none
i should not have bought food
i hope i can go through them all tonight at least thats the goal

i like feeling that i can type fast it makes me feel like theres actually one thing in life that i can do properly

had a big conversation about stuff with holly not entirely sure what but it was big and yeh
there was an email that went out about peer mentors for next year so it seems (depending on how everything goes on friday at the meeting) that i might be staying next year
need to talk to duncan about it
trying to sort somethign with lily and charles but i dont know if it will happen
my hadns are pink cos i dyed mums hair
the game of sweet valley high that i had with loghanh at lunch went for ages literally more than an hour it was a good game though even if i didnt win
i was so sure that one of the cards was winston because when she peeked it she looked down at her the boyfriends and she had no space for them
i just assumed
shouldnt have cos it turned out to be fucking detention and she won by like the slightest bit
there was a point where she picked up bruce patmans card and said ” im bruce batman” in a really deep voice and she doesnt remember doing it
we both ended up in tears about it and i couldnt manage to replicate it cos i was laughing too much about it
it was honestly one of hte best games we’ve had so far
i still need to write my bio
which means i need to take my laptop so school tomorrow and also cos im sitting the bio thing tomorrow morning
i totally forgot about that
i need to write up my notes
braids failed


now if i were in england that would be a term for something attractive
but im kiwi and also very weird so for me that means penguins
ive made a total of 19 and a half
the half is cos i made a small deformed one without feet or wings which i accidentally left by the sink
paid for 5 this morning
went to get pizza with jess at/before lunch
we’re getting on better now but i dont know how long that will last
rose put a fish print on loads of people jess was the first i was the fifth
we were the fishterhood
charles hasnt been online in 7 hours
as in i havent messaged him today
im braiding my hair
i discovered the big fat quiz of the year
working at some point in the weekend
rebecca is gone somewhere
i ate pizza that wasnt glueten free
i think i feel a little refluxy but that might also be the curry i ate and it was really fast and also drank lots

need to remember to oil my helix and bellybutton sometimes

so was messing with the idea of setting up a new blog for poetry but decided against it so i wouldnt have to create a whole new thing and just decided to revamp the ink is my blood
did not realise what a huge task it would be to make the whole thing over
i have for the time being put it on request only access while im going through it all but have really no idea how i should be going about all of it
i also created a new instagram to put some things on but im not sure how good of an idea that is
lily was at school so i spent most of the time with her and then with her and jess which we’ve both agreed means jess ends up with most of lilys attention but whatever it just is how it is
im used to it
talked to charles for the first time in what felt like forever and it wasnt amazing
but he did call me again
one day i should actually pick up and play something down the line
ive also changed the colour scheme of the site dashboards and its taking a little getting used to
the other weird thing is the fact that im posting all this off chrome for the first time ever
have to come up with a system for going through all the posts ive made on ink so i can edit and delete/private them efficiently
also need to have a schedule for updating it once ive got it public again
hopefully once ive done all this it might be easer to maybe oneday make an art page?
i dont really know what else to say nothing else had really gone on
except moving the shitty furniture thing out of my room and having a panic attack at work